Overheard In…

Working man: Yo, what's that?
Hobo, shaking cup of coins: Huh?
Working man: What is that?
Hobo: It's a cup, you got any money?
Working man: Yeah, I got money in my pocket.
Hobo: Well, gimme some!
Working man: I ain't got money to be givin' away. I just did my eight hours.
Hobo: Well, I'm gettin' my eight hours too, shit!

--F Train

Overheard by: ninja

Little boy near cafe: What's that smell?
Passerby: It's the smell of knowledge!

--Barnes & Noble

Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.

--1 Train

Subway operator: This downtown 1 train will not be stopping at 50th Street. I repeat, will not be stopping at 50th Street.
(a minute passes)
Subway operator: We will not be stopping at 50th Street. There is a stalled train there. We will be going straight to 42nd without stopping at 50th.
(another minute goes by)
Subway operator: This is a downtown 1 train, next stop will be 50th. Shit! 42nd.

--1 Train

Woman: Looks like you guys got your drink on tonight.
Drunk frat boy: I don't drink--I'm the VP of programming!

--PATH

Overheard by: DBrickashaw

Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d...violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.

--Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria

Male Fordham student: I think I witnessed a girl getting bad news about either being pregnant or getting STDs!
Female Fordham student: How do you know?!
Male Fordham student: Because she was on the phone and I heard her say "wait, that's not possible, how could the results come back as that?"

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!

--3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th

Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.

--Times Square

Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Queso

Guy #1: I went out drinking last night and didn't smoke.
Guy #2: Except cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, besides that.

--PATH Sation

Conductor: If you see something, say something.
Crazy fat lady reading book: Mind your own business, don't say anything. (a few minutes later) I don't wanna be no Asian, I don't wanna be the size of no Asian.

--Downtown A train

Young female at happy hour #1: So getting a free dinner was cool.
Young female at happy hour #2: Yeah, it's not like that roach was on the plate.

--7th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: Ed

Nutsy guy #1: I'm nuttier than you are!
Nutsy guy #2: No!

--Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Asian in suit: Do you think I'm like, really serious?
Asian chick: Yeah, you're serious about pretty much everything.
Asian suit: But only when, I'm like, doing something.

--112th & Broadway

Overheard by: okay...

British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck...off.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Dropping Eaves

Boyfriend: Ah, don't listen to her, she still believes in magic.
Girlfriend: Jesus! I believe in Jesus!

--117th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Schenk

TV guy #1: We're not putting whores on tv.
TV guy #2: Are you a virgin?
TV guy #1: No, this cherry has been popped.

--Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Derek

30’s-something woman chatting on Facebook: I just found out that my father-in-law was murdered!
20’s-something woman: What?  You saw that on Facebook?
30’s-something woman: Yeah.  I’m chatting with my husband and he just told me his father was murdered.  I mean, he wasn’t JUST murdered, but I just found out about it, so he was just murdered to me.
20’s-something woman:  YOU’RE MARRIED?!?  I didn’t know that!
30’s-something woman: Neither did he.  I just told him that we never got divorced.  He said, “Ten years with no arguments, no nagging, and no responsibility?  Best marriage I’ve ever had!”

Minneapolis, the smallest breakroom ever
Overheard by I remember signing my divorce papers.

Dude #1: I had a dream that we got to hang out backstage with Metallica after the concert on Saturday.
Dude #2: That would be fucking awesome.
Dude #1: We would totally get laid.
Dude #2: By Metallica?
Dude #1: I'd do it.

--N Train

Overheard by: Mr. Bobo

Gross older man: Yeah, she was hot but her pussy always smells.
Gross older woman: Mine never smells...unless I pee on myself.

--Staten Island Ferry

Office Male: What have you found out about using the Facebook?
Older Office Male: It seems to be a list serve, but the communication isn’t as meaningful.
Office Male: What do you mean?
Older Office Male: I don’t care what people are doing on Facebook. So and so is having wine and wanting girl talk.  I just don’t feel compelled to respond. Maybe I don’t want girl talk right now.

Minneapolis, office
Overheard by Jim.

Crazy guy, after talking to himself for 30 minutes: If you take a man away from his writing, you have left that man naked.

Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by Do NOT make eye cantact with  crazy people.

Girl #1 in elevator to her friend: Do you even know what Easter is about?
Girl #2 in elevator: No. You know, I should. I was raised Catholic. I think.

U of M
Overheard by Way to go priests.