Overheard In…

Man: Who was that chef who said "Butter, butter, bring me more butter."?
Woman: Umm, I think you just made that up.
Man: No, he said it. And he meant it, and he was right! (butters roll)

--Brazil Grill, 8th Ave & 48th

Girl #1: I wonder where Austria is.
Girl #2: It must be by Australia, because they sound the same.

--Bus

Overheard by: David

Construction worker #1: This place is expensive.
Construction worker #2: Ca-ching.
Korean store owner: I'm not fucking Chinese.
Construction worker #2: It's the cash register sound.
Korean store owner: I don't care, I'm not fucking Chinese, get out of my store.

--Canal & West Broadway

Overheard by: also not chinese

Woman: The world revolves around me!
Man: Who says?
Woman: Astrology. I'm a Leo. The stars say the world revolved around me.
Man: Them stars be lyin'.

--Uptown 2 Train

Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie

Queer #1: I sucked you off and swallowed your cum!
Queer #2: Shh, not now, someone will hear.
Queer #1: No! No one is listening!
Girl next to them: Actually, I'm listening.

--3 Train

Overheard by: Carly

Eight-year-old girl to little brother on bike: Hey, asshole!
Little brother: What? Are you talking to me?
Eight-year-old girl: Yeah, you're annoying me. You're pissin' me off!

--Central Park

Headline by: KateNonymous

Runners-Up:
"And on That Day, Young Travis Bickle's Life Took a Turn" - jlp
"From the Rarely Seen First Episode Of the Donnie and Marie Show." - Chris L
"New Yorkers-in-Training" - Oren K
"Sesame Street Has REALLY Changed" - Bob
"When Cindy Mistook Her Dad's Protein Shake for a Milkshake..." - fox


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Cuisine expert #1: That sake shit is clear.
Cuisine expert #2: Word.

--151 & Amsterdam

Girl walking down the street: Why do I feel so full?
Little kid: Cause you're drunk!

--Bleecker St, West Village

Overheard by: Diva

Aspiring rapper: Hey guys, 'sup? Would you care to help a struggling rapper by buying my CD for $20?
Guy: Uh... I don't really want your album for $20.
Aspiring rapper: Could you hug me for $10 then?

--Times Square

Nine-year-old to friend: Yo, how many white people we got here?
Friend: One, two, too many.

--Fort Greene Park

Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?

--Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?

--D Train

(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for...

--Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: EK

Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.

--Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ewan Walsh

Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?

--Halloween Adventure Store

Overheard by: McF

Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.

--Birthday party, Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: PG

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.

--40th & 9th

Overheard by: McFreaky

Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.

--W 4th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: rpk

Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.

--115th & Broadway

Overheard by: columbia undergrad

Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?

--6 Train

Overheard by: Justine

Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?

--2nd Ave & Houston

Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was

20-something woman on cell: Wait--am I in the sex industry?

--NJ Transit

Overheard by: Poogins

Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.

--N Train

All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?

--Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!

--Uptown 6 Train

Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon...he can't even vote.

--East Village Urban Outfitters

Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.

--106th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kip

Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.

--70th & Columbus

Overheard by: Devoted Puppy

Middle-aged suburban woman on cell phone: Guess where I am; on a bus, it’s so exciting!

State Fair Park & Ride
Overheard by Let’s Figure Out Public Transportation.

Woman #1: So, I was watching the Democratic National Convention last night…
Woman #2: Oh, is that here?

Saint Paul, Women’s restroom just a few block from where the RNC will be next week…
Overheard by Amazed and saddened.

Mid 30’s Woman with screechy voice to someone: You didn’t recycle that, did you? Fucking asshole.

Saint Paul, Dale/Summit
Overheard by Guy with a headache.

Thug (singing): I smacked yo’ mom and she liked it.

Eastbound #16, West Bank

Girl in debate to two guys at her table: But that doesn’t make it ‘gay’.  You’re still having heterosexual sex, but you’re just doing it next to yourself.

Minneapolis, What has now become my bar of choice
Overheard by …true?