Overheard In…

Thug #1: Yo, she brought her friend along.
Thug #2: Yeah, but she was fat 'n' ugly, right?
Thug #1: No, man. She was fat 'n' cute!

--L train, 8th Ave

Overheard by: kalbijim

Chick #1: Would you ever get your pubic hair chemically straightened?
Chick #2: No, I wouldn't let Chinese people touch my vagina.

--A train

Overheard by: Francesca

Dad: The invitation says five-thirty, but it probably won't start until six.
Little girl: Six? I don't understand -- why do they make everyone rush to get here, and then we just have to wait?

--Miss Potter premiere, DGA Theater, 57th & 6th

Hannah Montana fans gathered outside, near rioting: "LET US IN! LET US IN! LET US IN!"

Girl passing by: "This must've been what the French Revolution looked like. "


Crayola Factory
Overheard by Anonymous

Early 20s "Dude" in line for beer with his buddies: I USED to smoke and chew... but then I quit one.



Wild Game
Overheard by now you will live half as long!

Old White Cashier Woman (Singing): Bombs over Baghdad, Bombs over Baghdad.



Einstein Bros inside Coffman Union

Freshman #1, smoking a cigarette: And do you remember what she wore for Halloween? Like, a TINY skirt and a shirt she rolled up. It wasn't even a costume, it was just making her clothes as whorey as possible!

Freshman #2: Yeah, I know. Like, it's ok if your costume is skanky, as long as you pay for it, but her's was just clothes!



Outside Comstock
Overheard by ARH.

American woman: I heard this song the other day -- the lyrics were great.
British man: Hm?
American woman: It was almost as good as that one song -- you know, that one that goes, 'Ain't no call like a booty call, 'cause a booty call just don't stop.'
British man: Uh-huh.
American woman: The lyrics are all, 'Looove is my religion. I'll take you to the temple tonight.'
British man: Wow... Let's just try to make some more really shitty metaphors, why don't we?

--Choga, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Alice

Mom in a baby voice: Let's zip up your coat. Do you want to know how cold it is?

3 year old: How?

Mom in a baby voice: So cold that if you don't wear your mittens your fingernails will fall off.



Tunnel from Fairview University to parking ramp
Overheard by Scarring children for life.

Woman walking down the street: Well, we're thinking of going to Mexico.

Woman #2: (in bored voice) Oh, Mexico. I went there once.



e hennepin ave
Overheard by you know you're rich when...

Woman #1 in Woman #2's cube: Why do you have a fake mustache in your cube? (She holds it to her face.) Gross, it smells like old feet! Here, try!

Woman #2: No! (giggles)



Downtown office
Overheard by JfA.

Professor: If you watch America's Next Top Model, all those girls are thirty pounds underweight. I don't find it attractive, but society does. In India, they like a little meat on the bone.

 

@anthropology

overheard by: mb

College stoner: Wouldn't it be awesome if, instead of being Oedipus's mother, Jocasta was Wal-Mart or some other embodiment of the commercial-industrial complex? And, instead of blinding himself with his mother-wife's brooches, Oedipus stabs himself in the eyes with his name tag pin? Like, I wonder what that all would mean, dude. You ever think about that?
Studious black friend: Wow. Pretentious much? Or are you just hashed right now?
College stoner: Hashed, man. Totally. What were we talking about, again? Oh, yeah!

--The Strand, Union Square

Overheard by: neongensis

Mom pushing stroller: ... And how do you spell 'Loch Ness'?
Four-year-old boy: L, um... L-O, um... um... L-O-C-H-N-E-S-S

--17th St & Irving Pl

Barista guy to girl wearing Red Sox hat: What do we have here? A Red Sox fan? What are you doing in this city? You don't belong here. Hey, what's your name? Hey! Are you ignoring me?
Red Sox girl: I'm sorry, did you say something?
Barista guy: Yeah, I was talking about your hat -- it sucks.
Red Sox girl: Yeah, whatever. You didn't spit in my latte or anything, did you?

--Starbucks

Overheard by: Snooper

Girl #1: "So I went to Honduras to visit my sister and they all swim naked there."

Girl #2: "Did you get naked?"

Girl #1: "Only topless. I figured if nobody's looking at my cooch, I'm fine with it."

- Blue Line

-- Submitted by Friendofbob

Girl: "I just don't think I want bananas in the bathtub."

Guy: "Where else would we fit them?"

- Irving Park Bus

-- Submitted by Emilie

Young Woman: "Late term abortion is really unhealthy for the mother and the baby."

- Red Line

-- Submitted by The Always Amused Aussie

East End Food Co-Op, Wilkinsburg: Girl #1: Look at all the vitamin supplements they have! Oh, detox… Girl #2: Did you notice our hair is the most shiny here? Girl #1: Out of all this, that is what you notice?! — Overheard by aurora

20-ish Yankees fan #1: ... And I told him, 'Dude, you have a penis -- use it.'
20-ish Yankees fan #2: That's kinda like rape.
20-ish Yankees fan #3: Remember when there were all those pictures of the American soldiers torturing Iraqis?
20-ish Yankees fan #2: Yeah, that was awesome.

--42nd St

Overheard by: GoRedSox

Girl 1: Ohmigod! I think those girls behind us are taking the test together... our TA said we should report anyone working together!

Girl 2: Ohmigod... you are so right, let's call her right now.

Girl 1: Hey, wait, let's see if they know the answer to number 17 instead.

 

@slc

overheard by: chuckle

Loud, maniacal laughter from the back of the train.

Hacking up of phlegm.

More maniacal laughter.

Another hack of phlegm.

(This symphony of madness continuing from Old Town to Gateway)

- On the Max

-- Overheard by a very unlucky commuter

Woman: I mean, chicken nuggets go straight to your ass.
Man: At least my tits don't sag.

--42nd & 8th

Mom, looking at bedding: Oooh, this one is nice.
Daughter: Mom, I'm getting married. I want to have sex. Lots of it. Hot, steamy, nasty, married-people sex. I just don't think I can do that on pastels.

--JCPenney bridal registry

Girl 1: Now, wait, what exactly is rugby?

Girl 2: Um, I think it's just like Quidditch, but without the brooms.

 

@history 4092

overheard by: beeper