Overheard In…

Girl: I met this guy last summer... He was French...
Guy: That means he was gay?

--1 train

Overheard by: olga torrey

Guy #1: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Guy #2: That's hard, man. I've never been good at science.
Guy #3: Me neither.

--6th Ave

Overheard by: Bored at the Office

Girl: Oh, has your ear been penetrated?
Boy: It's called 'pierced,' Maddie, not 'penetrated.' Pierced.

--Central Park

Dude #1, burping loudly: I know you're gassy if you have to fart a lot, but what are you if you have to burp a lot?
Dude #2: Same thing, in the opposite direction.

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Wiley Willis

From the next row of cubes in my office:

“I don’t get it, I ALWAYS see skunks in Macy’s!”

- Overheard by Jaimie

Hipster #1: Have we had the bar mitzvah conversation yet?
Hipster #2: I thought you were a Mexican?
Hipster #1: I'm Brazilian. And Jewish.
Hipster #2: Are you fucking with me?

--Williamsburg

Older guy (pointing at Orpheum Theatre): They had that ice-skating chick there once!

Slightly younger guy: Halle Berry?

Older guy: Naw, it wasn't her... the white chick!

Slightly younger guy: Jennifer Lopez?

Older guy: Naw... Dorothy Hamill! That's who it was!



The #6 bus on Hennepin
Overheard by No wait, I think it's Yao Ming!

Stylish 20-something on cell phone: Honey, even if he does have a big penis, he still should have bought you flowers...



some apartment on huron blvd, minneapolis
Overheard by not that picky.

Mother: You should put your boots back on.

Young girl: I don't wanna wear 'em.

Mother: It's against the law, you should put them back on.

Young girl: I don't wanna wear 'em.

Mother: You don't want to get arrested for not wearing your boots, do you?



Old Navy, Burnsville Center

Crazy old man selling bubble guns: Welcome to Coney Island!
Emo teen: This isn't Coney Island!

--14th & Broadway

Overheard by: smirkingonlooker

Conversation between my two roommates-

Roommate #1: I was looking at our beds today and realized that I am the least fuckable person in this room...look at the floral pillows, the teddy bear, the patchwork blanket...

Roommate #2: yeah, you need to get rid of that shit.

Our Apartment
Overheard by sincerely me

Rejected Titles:
You really don't understand the male mind

If you are naked that's not the pillows he's looking at

Most people fuck the person, not the bedspread

Try the slutty virgin persona. Sounds like you are halfway there.

A group of girls, walking:

Girl: "I have to go to the bathroom."

(Girls laugh).

Girl: "I'M GOING TO POOP ON YOU!"

(Girls scream and run away).

West Chester University
Overheard by Anonymous

Woman #1: "What are you going to do for Jen's birthday?"

Woman #2: "I don't know. I'm thinking Tilapia and Hi-C."

Woman #1: "The kids like Tilapia?"

Woman #2: "Well, Jen nixed the lobster idea, but we wanted to stick with seafood. Tilapia seemed like a quality choice."

- Bucktown

-- Submitted by Lovell

Guy #1: "...I need to get my supplements."

Guy #2: "What do you take?"

Guy #1: "Just some herbal stuff: cinnamon, ginko biloba, fish oils."

Guy #2: "What about HGH?"

Guy #1: "Yeah, idiot. I take herbal HGH. It grows off the 'you're a fucking retard' tree."

- LA Fitness, Roosevelt

-- Submitted by Justin

Girl: "If I buy three cans of soup here, I can make it at home."

Guy: "But I want the soup from the restaurant."

Girl: "Maybe we can bring it and have them cook it for us."

Guy: "Yeah. That'll be awesome. 'Excuse me, waiter. I'd like your finest steak, your finest wine, and, uh, could you heat up this Progresso for us?'"

- North Side Jewel

-- Submitted by Secret SHopper

Dude #1: Lots of people tell me I'm the gayest straight man they know.
Dude #2: Mmmm... No, I know a gayer straight guy than you.

--F station, Bergen St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Tall foreign model #1: ... And we nicknamed each other's, you know, junk...
Tall foreign model #2: Really? What does he call yours?
Tall foreign model #1: He keeps calling it 'Gina' -- I don't get why.
Tall foreign model #2: Huh.

--12th & 4th

Loud woman: That nigga stupid!
Friend: You right.
Loud woman: Nah, he worse than stupid. That nigga retarded! Re-tar-ded!
Friend: He didn't even get good grades in college!

--F train

Random drunk guy (by himself, only 8pm) sitting close to the stage, no music is playing: What the fuck is this shit, this band sucks...fucking dick, it sucks dick.

- Dante's, 2 weeks ago, getting ready to play a show, sitting at the side bar watching the opening band set up their gear.

--Overheard by italiamusica

Black Homeless Man (hitting on a woman): "But come on, baby. I'm a ninja!"

SEPTA Trolley
Overheard by vernonj

Hipster #1: So, everybody is moving to Park Slope.
Hipster #2: Who's everybody?
Hipster #1: I don't know... Jews...

--Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Emily

Elderly tourist: This place is amazing. Exactly like Louisville.
Female companion: Yep. New York's just like Louisville.

--W 4th & Greene

Girl #1: She's such a fucking bitch.
Girl #2: She's such a motherfucking bitch.
Girl #1: Yeah, but she's hot.
Girl #2: Yeah, she's really fucking hot.

--7th & Ave A

Crackhead: Excuse me, miss, but you don't look so good. Are you okay?
Hot, drunk chick vomiting in a trashcan: I'm supposed to be asking you that!

--66th St, Lincoln Center station

Law student #1: How was your summer?
Law student #2: Off the hook. Italy is the third fucking world. Poverty kicks ass when you don't have to deal with it, like, every day.

--Mercer & 3rd