Overheard In…

Chick #1: I didn't call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it's okay, 'cause I just forgot.

--34th & Broadway

Overheard by: may

Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.

--G train

Man: Bitch, why you gotta make things so complicated?
Woman: I'm always complicated. You oughta be used to it by now.
Man: Yeah, that's true.

--14th St crosswalk

Overheard by: Leslie

Old lady #1: His head was between my legs.
Old lady #2: Was he big?

--M23 bus

Overheard by: Priscilla Perez

Girl: God, there's nowhere in the Lower East Side to order wine!
Guy passerby: Turn around.
Girl: No, I mean, like, in a bar.

--Outside 'inoteca Wine Bar, 98 Rivington

Teacher #1: I heard on the radio that the Chinese people are the ones that make the pasta. You know, the noodles.
Teacher #2: I did the research and it is pretty cheap to go to Italy. I wanna go.

--Elevator, 55 Broad St

Overheard by: Rob M

Girl #1: I swear! This place exists!
Girl #2: If this place exists, then how come I can't see it?

--Bleecker St

Overheard by: Bones

Guy #1: He came up and said, 'Hey, big boy, wanna ring my bell?'
Guy #2: And...?
Guy #1: And of course I said I didn't! But... it was nice being asked.

--The Shake Shack, Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Impatiently Waiting in Line for her Peanut Bu

Mom, to little girl: Don't you ever say 'bitch' again, or I will knock all of your teeth out!

--6 train

Hot girl #1: It's the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It's amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.

--Coney Island-bound F train

Sorority girl tourist #1, about photo of guy on camera phone: Look at this gluteus maximus.
Sorority girl tourist #2: Oooh, nice gluteus maximus. Hey, what's with all the weird body part names, anyway? Gluteus maximus...
Sorority girl tourist #1: Vulva...

--34th & 8th

Overheard by: Dolores!

Female attorney: Bush said that America will rebuild Lennon. Why should we? We didn't bomb them. We have enough problems of our own to worry about. Bush is nuts!
Male attorney: Lennon's been dead for over 25 years.

--Outside Civil Court, Queens

Overheard by: Big Larry

Guy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention for a second, please? [All the strap hangers look at him.] Thank you for your attention. [Gets off the train.]

--6 train

Overheard by: Luke

Hobo with jar around his neck reading "TIPS" is approached by another hobo wearing a sign reading "CLASSIC BUM." An American Apparel employee comes out and takes a Polariod.

"TIPS" hobo: This is a Bum War, lady. But you like what you see? Spare some change?

--Houston & Orchard

Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish...
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don't follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words 'you are an idiot' confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.

--28th & 5th

30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn't want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.

--Miracle Grill

Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos

Tourist suit: Excuse me, can you tell me where the Empire State Building is?
Guy: Just look up, man.

--32nd & 5th

Overheard by: still looks up

Filipino girl #1: So, he's from Bangladesh, right?
White guy: Really? Are you sure? 'Cause he looks white...
Filipino girl #2: Yeah, but he's really Filipino. Bangladesh is in Asia, right?
Filipino girl #1: Yeah, but not our part, which is why he doesn't look completely white like me.

--1 train

Girl: He's gross.
Guy: Well, he likes you.
Girl: He's like Jabba the Hut!

--79th & Lex

Overheard by: Shivvers

Little girl #1: What's your name?
Little girl #2: No!
Little girl #1: Want a cookie?
Little girl #2, snatching it and shoving it in her mouth: No!

--Sandbox, Prospect Park

Overheard by: braincurve