Overheard In…

Woman: So what did you do?
Gay man: I put my pants back on and left the apartment -he was just a house sitter!

--53rd St & 9th Ave

(older woman flailing her arms around while speaking to younger woman she is dining with)
Waitress: Yes, did you need something?
Older woman: Oh, no! I was just doing an imitation of ferocious wolves in the wild.
Waitress: Oh, okay.

--French Restaurant, Spring St

Woman #1: Ooh. I like that top!
Woman #2: Thanks.
Woman #1: It's very Sex and the City. Where'd ya get it?
Woman #2: Penney's.

--Shuttle Train to Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Robert

Southern tourist child: Daddy, was Jesus Dolly Parton's best friend too?
Southern tourist father: No, no one really loved Dolly Parton.

--34th & Lexington

Overheard by: Graham Davis

Rowdy gay man to rowdy gay compatriot while pointing at cyclist walking the aisle: See!  He’s not ugly, he’s RUSTIC!

Lund’s in NE
Overheard by flattered by the underhandedness.

Blonde woman to boyfriend: Remember that one time you told me you thought you had kidney stones? (laughter)

Annie’s restaurant in Dinkytown
Overheard by almost shot milkshake out my nose.

Coworker #1 at 2nd job: I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Coworker #2: Which one?
Coworker #1: I didn’t specify, now did I?

warehouse district office
Overheard by If I had two jobs, I might say that too.

White (looking) guy to other white (looking) guy: When I eventually say, “My dad’s from Iraq”, it’s almost an immediate, “You’re undatable.”

Caffetto
Overheard by You wouldn’t be undatable to me… if you weren’t a dude.

30-something white girl to same-type friend: The last time I went roller skating someone stole my pager.

St Anthony Applebee’s
Overheard by Another good reason not to rollerskate, or, why did you have a pager?

Tiny intern girl to not-tiny intern girl: They have Fresca! Fresca is old school right?
Not-tiny intern girl: Oh my god, Fresca is totally old school!
Tiny intern girl: Yeah, it totally is! Hey, do you remember Surge?

Breakroom, Northstar Building, DT MPLS
Overheard by stop making me feel old at 25 dammit!

Woman, after a guy in bear suit walked by: If Bush gets his way there won’t be any more bears.

Excelsior, MN
Overheard by C.Dugan.

Pothead teen: Man, I’m gonna get so baked at the concert this weekend!
Naive good girl: You really shouldn’t sit in the sun like that, you could get skin cancer.

Wayzata High School
Overheard by and i thought i was sheltered.

Girl #1: I was so impressed with him! He immediately identified me as bi. No one else had ever done that before.
Girl #2: I know. When I came out three months ago, I called everyone I knew, and they were all surprised.
Girl #1: And here we are at Hamlet, sitting here in dresses! No one will ever suspect!

--Delacorte Theater, Central Park

Guy: He is so stupid.
Girl: He isn't stupid, his brain is full.

--8th St & Greene

Thin hipster: Man, 2pac is so fucking awesome.
Thinner hipster: Yeah, I guess. Dead role models don't do much for youth.
Thin hipster: What about Jesus, man?
Thinner hipster: Forgot about him. Whoops.

--D Train

Bookseller to black girl: Hey, stop -I want to get with you.
Black girl: You can't.
Bookseller: Why not?
Black girl: I got to go.
Bookseller: Where you be Friday night?
Black girl: Jersey.
Bookseller: A'ight. I be there.
Black girl: Too far for you.
Bookseller: I'll travel for pussy. I'm a travellin' man for pussy.
Bookseller's friend: You'd go to Jersey for pussy? That's some crazy desperate shit.

--Washington Place & 6th Ave

Overheard by: JCo

Mother, scolding six-year-old girl: No more kissing until... you're 27!
Little girl: But...

--74th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Lost barhopper: Hey, do you guys know where MacDougal Street is?
Hipster: Oh, I'm sorry dude. I'm just looking at the size of the fucking dog over there.

--Bleecker & Jones

Overheard by: KNation

Suit #1: Good thing my girlfriend had an abortion, or I'd have a 16-year-old kid right now.
Suit #2: Yeah? I never heard this story.

--F Train

Overheard by: wb

Headline by: kasey

Runners-Up:
"Haven't You Ever Asked About My Framed Coathanger?" - Ian
"Jesus; Always the Son, Never the Father" - benny blanco
"Lifetime Wasn't Interested" - Emily Leonard
"Neither Did My Wife..." - phox
"Once Upon a Vacuum..." - blistexaddict
"Well Jimmy, When a Man and Woman Like Sex Without Commitments...." - mkp-hearts-nyc
"Your Wife Was Pretty Insistent I Never Tell You" - Greg Costello


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should've taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don't need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.

--Crowded 6 Train

Overheard by: ear hustler

Excited college kid #1: Dude! We are totally going back there!
Excited college kid #2: Definitely.
Excited college kid #1: Hash, 'shrooms, a shitload of pot... We are getting fucked up this weekend and then we're going back there for more!
Excited college kid #2: Yessssss.

--Bleecker & Sullivan

Overheard by: wondering where there is.