Overheard In…

Male NYU student #1: I find myself oddly attracted to Diane Keaton.
Male NYU student #2: that's pretty gross, dude.
(pause)
Male NYU student #2: Wait, isn't she a lesbian?
Male NYU student #1: Nah, I think that's Jodie Foster.
(pause)
Male NYU student #2: Yeah, that's pretty gross, dude.

--Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Junkballer

Scruffy guy: I never understood that.
Taller friend: What? The dogs?
Scruffy guy: No, the fisting.
Taller guy: Oh. Well, I'm sure it stretches. There are two of them.
Scruffy guy: True.

--Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)

--42nd & Broadway

Hipster #1: Did you ever see The Brown Bunny?
Hipster #2: No, what's it about?
Hipster #1: This guy, he's a motorcycle racist...
Hipster #2: A motorcycle racist?
Hipster #1: Yeah, he races motorcycles.

--Atlantic Terminal Target

Young woman to young boy: Aw, look at the cute puppy.
Young boy: Aawww.
Young woman: See... he has a leash on just like you.

--45th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Nicole

U of M Student: Who do I have to sleep with around here to get some grants?

Tin Man - U of M
Overheard by Probably someone at One-Stop

Homeless man who obviously doesn’t know he’s in a gay bar: There are no girls up in here tonight!

The Saloon
Overheard by I’m biting my tongue so hard trying not to laugh.

Checkout lady while ringing up melamine lunch trays: We have these! My kids love ‘em. They like to pretend they are in jail. Give me some of that slop, mom!

Burnsville Target
Overheard by your mom.

Lonely 20-something guy: I just want a girlfriend. I don’t care if she’s super fat or has, like, two noses.

Chaska basketball court
Overheard by three nostrils.

Employee: Who’s responsible for making sure Mike’s ass doesn’t bleed all over the passenger seat?

Chanhassen office
Overheard by nasty president taft.

A very distraught, older lady walking with her bored-looking husband: I don’t know. He calls it emo.

MOA
Overheard by Man on a Mission.

Bored girl with many facial piercings: I don’t think I’m on friends terms with Frank anymore. After Convergence, he deleted me off of his MySpace top eight. There aren’t even any real people on there. It’s all just cartoon characters.
Guy: Cartoon characters?
Bored girl: Transformers or some shit. All of his friends are Transformers.

Loring Pasta Bar, Dinkytown
Overheard by whoops for you.

Mid 20’s Guy #1: I think I hate bike cops more than regular cops!!!
Mid 20’s Guy #2: I don’t know, I think hate all cops the same.

Outside Sneaky Pete’s
Overheard by You Too.

Grungy guy to random woman: I’m the gayest.
Woman: Uh-huh.
Guy: That’s what I call myself “the Gayest.”
Woman: Uh… neat?
Guy: Right now I’m going to go get me a rainbow belt, and then I’m gonna get a tattoo of a rainbow that leads to a pot of gold. But instead of gold, it will be Skittles and it will say “taste the rainbow.”

12 bus in uptown
Overheard by …what does that even mean?

Underage girl:  So, how old are you then?  Eighteen?
20-year old man:  I’m actually 20.
Underage girl [warily]: Ohhhh…
20-year old man: Is that okay?

Twins vs. Sox
Overheard by these two had the best conversations all night.

Guy #1: Dude, I just say two guys kissing in front of Burger King.
Guy #2: Ick, that’s gross.
Guy #3: That’s pretty damn gay.

US Bank Plaza
Overheard by It’s Obvious.

Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.

--E Train

Overheard by: Laura

White college dude with glasses: Guys, you absolutely must check out this new reality television show. It is off the hiz-ook. Literally, off the hiz-ook.
College chick: Why do we hang out with you?

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Vicksburg

(little Asian girl giggles and makes snorting noise)
Park Slope mom to daughter: She's making a pig noise, Charlotte! Can you show her your pig noise?
(little Asian girl snorts again)
Park Slope mom: I think she's going to hock something up.

--F Train

Overheard by: Russ Wall

Suit: We have water leaking from the 24th floor down to the phone boxes.
Friend: That's good. That's what we want.

--47th & 3rd

Overheard by: EthanK

Girl in Mets jersey: My sister put me on anti-anxiety pills and now I'm gonna kill her!
Guy in Mets jersey: Rad! Go Mets!

--59th St & Roosevelt Ave

Overheard by: Stephen's Wife