Man at McDonald's drive-Thru: I'll have a #1 with a Diet Coke please.
Employee: Anything else?
Man: Nope, that's it. And this is all to go.
Employee: Ya think?
--McDonald's, Bayside
Archive for August, 2008
No Tip for You, My Good Man
Friday, August 29th, 2008What Mr. Clean Commercials Are Like in Europe
Friday, August 29th, 2008Accept Its Insanity or Face Its Wrath
Friday, August 29th, 2008You Just Did
Friday, August 29th, 2008Muttering coworker (referring to Overheard in Minneapolis): I wish I could Overheard myself.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by King Skidz.
Know Your Alcohol Limit
Friday, August 29th, 2008Drunk Sorostitute (in group of friends): I’m getting boned in the butt! Who’s boning me in the butt?
Outside The Library, Dinkytown
Overheard by POB.
Whole Or Half?
Friday, August 29th, 2008Exhausted looking woman: How much is that ostrich on a stick?
MN State Fair
Overheard by nugget.
You Get Points For Trying
Friday, August 29th, 2008Enthusiastic Child (walking out of state fair bazaar): Who am I kidding?? I don’t even know what a bazaar is!
MN State Fair, International Bazaar
Overheard by boyfriend and me.
Letting Go Isn’t Easy
Friday, August 29th, 2008Loudest girl on the crowded bus, talking to some friends: …I literally had to ask her to take her dog out of her shirt, I wasn’t going to examine it while it was in there!
Campus Connector bus
Overheard by ls.
Swing And A Miss!
Friday, August 29th, 2008Flamboyant gay 20-something, walking out talking to friend: Like seriously, every time I smoked on your balcony I felt like I had to hide in the corner like I was Helen Keller hiding from the Nazis or something!
Minneapolis, The Saloon
Overheard by a.lil.
That Never Works For Me
Friday, August 29th, 2008Younger Man to Senior Man: Hey, do you want some ice cream?
Senior Man: No, thanks, I’m too full. I just want to look at it.
Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by I would still gain a pound or two.
Now That’s Just Mean
Friday, August 29th, 2008Middle-aged woman, to companion: Hey, let’s get some hot dogs and go to the pig barn!
Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by PETA does not approve.
Somehow I Doubt That
Friday, August 29th, 2008Little boy (loudly), to other little boy, upon entering crowded bathroom: This is the worst bathroom EVER!
St. Paul
Overheard by Agreed.
Define ‘Egg’
Friday, August 29th, 2008Young boy in the birthing center looking at the cows: OK, but where do the eggs come out!?
MN State Fair
Overheard by I grew up in the city too, but come on!
Where Do I Start?
Friday, August 29th, 2008Line cook #1: Are you gonna turn the grill on?
Line cook #2: Yeah, when do you need it?
Line cook #1: I could have used the grill, like, 30 minutes ago.
Line cook #2: Well, then fast forward time back and do it.
Minneapolis, work
Overheard by the intern jacked up on espresso.
It Says *PUNCH*
Friday, August 29th, 2008Skinny man grabbing in the general direction of his female companions muffin top: What does the little piggy say!
MN State Fair; nowhere near the animal barns
Overheard by oink oink.
That’s A Pretty Bum Deal For Other Guy
Friday, August 29th, 2008Young man to two female friends: If we go on that ride and his underwear isn’t wet at the end; I am making him trade me.
MN State Fair
Overheard by Its a deal!
He Will Be Blown Away By The Amazing Coincidence
Friday, August 29th, 2008Ditzy brunette: When Sebastian comes, I’m totally going to bring him here!
Ditzy blonde: Yeah, I totally already thought of that!
Sebastian Joe’s in Linden Hills
Overheard by ice cream eater.
The State Fair Is Pretty Awesome This Year
Friday, August 29th, 2008Overzealous deep fried Twinky vendor to two middle-age women: Deep fried Twinkies! Hey ladies, you want some deep fried TWANKY TWANKS?!?
MN State Fair
Overheard by aeh.
A Conversation For A Special Occasion
Friday, August 29th, 2008Middle-Aged Dad to daughter: Have I told you about the transvestites in San Francisco?
MOA
Overheard by Jane Leroy.
Then What’s the War on Polyester?
Friday, August 29th, 2008Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something.
--Hollywood Video, Staten Island
The Day New York Stood Still
Friday, August 29th, 2008Atlantic Avenue announcement: The 2, 3, 4, 5, b and q trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the n, d, or r trains.
Pacific Street announcement: The n, d and r trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the 2, 3, 4, 5, b or q trains.
--Atlantic/Pacific Subway Station
Overheard by: Jen Diff