Overheard In…

Girl, passing by a store: Hey, is there anything you want?
Guy: To get ABBA out of my head!

--6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Heck Yeah

Little boy #1: Where are we going?
Little boy #2: We're walking to Russia.

--33rd & 8th

Overheard by: Miss Sunita

Woman #1: She keeps acting all funny now, and I'm up to the point where I'll have to beat her ass.
Woman #2: You crazy.
Woman #1: I'm beating her ass right in church, you watch me!
Woman #2 (laughing): You crazy!
Woman #1: I'll say "Lord, forgive me," before I beat her ass down right in front of the altar!

--PATH Train

Overheard by: Manhattman

(a couple of guys want to get a picture of a taxi crashed into a lamppost)
Guy #1 (handing camera to passerby): Can you take our picture?
Guy #2: In front of the taxi. (pause) We're tourists.
New Yorker: Yeah, I know.

--Near Cake Shop

Overheard by: Shutterbug

Lady in wheelchair, attempting to enter while a homeless man is passed out, his legs blocking her entry: Excuse me, sir? Sir, excuse me please? (waits a few moments) Fine then, I am just going to run over you!! (proceeds to do exactly that)

Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by Jamie and Dawn.

Dumb Teen boy: If McCain wins, he’ll die just because he’s so old. Like, he won’t even get the pride of being assasinated like Obama would; he’ll just die.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by the pride of being assasinated.

Guy in next in cube over: It’d be hard being a transformer.

Brooklyn Park, The cubefarm
Overheard by Holy Cats!

Co-worker #1: Why is Vogue on your Halloween play list?
Co-worker #2: Because all of those homosexuals in the video were wearing costumes.

Minneapolis, Downtown Office

Guy and Girl walk down the hallway singing: They don’t understaaand.
Friend running up behind them: It won’t stop bleeding, guys!!!

Minnetonka, MHS-cafeteria

40ish Man in suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
40ish Woman: (looks at him blankly)
40ish Man: You know… so that it’s, like, illegal?
40ish Woman: (looks straight ahead) Umm, let’s look at halloween candy.

Eden Prairie, Target
Overheard by I love my dog, but not THAT much.

Mother to child in the girl’s clothing aisle: No, you’re not wearing a padded bra; you’re six!!

Edina, Southdale Target
Overheard by me.

Male co-worker: Well, maybe you should let them shoot you up with it?
Female co-worker: No, I don’t want to grow an unnecessary mustache.

Minneapolis, Cubicle Land, U.S. Bank
Overheard by Huh? As opposed to a necessary one?

Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!

--F Train

Mom to kid: You said you wanted a history book, what were you thinking?
Kid to mom: Like, "History." Back in horse time.

--Bookstore, Greenpoint

Overheard by: eefers

Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all "American" Apparel" so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California!

--Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Crazy Person

Girl #1: Oh my god, I can't believe we saw him! And he just re-signed with the Yankees!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love José Canseco!
Girl #1: You mean Jorge Posada, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, sure, whoever you said!

--50th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jason

Boyfriend: I guess we can get some stuff at Gristedes, the ghetto grocery.
Girlfriend: Gristedes isn't ghetto! It was on Project Runway!

--Gristedes

Overheard by: Fox

(waiting in line at the DMV)
Black supervisor with thick Jamaican accent to preppy white mom accompanying her daughter: You sit down. (mumbles something else)
White mom: Did he say "only Africans wait in line"?
White daughter: No, mom, "only *applicants* wait in line."

--Harlem DMV

Tourist woman: Look! Look up, there it is!
Tourist man: Really, that's it? I don't think that's it.
Tourist woman (pointing at "Empire State Building" label): No, look. It says right there.
Tourist man: Oh, I guess you're right... this must be it.

--Empire State Building, 34th & 5th

Girl: Did you know that my ancestors invented the thing that links subway cars together?
Guy: Did you know that my ancestors got drunk in the subway cars?

--MTA Transit Museum

Woman on phone: This is completely unacceptable! You work for the United States Government, and this is completely unacceptable!
Crazy old man: Shut up, you stupid cow!

--Hudson & Charles

Man: I just don't know why it had to be so dramatic.
Woman: Joe, she kicked me in the face. Twice.

--R Train

Overheard by: LH

Woman #1: So, I went to the dermatologist the other day, and she said it doesn't have to be removed.
Woman #2: Oh...good!
Woman #1: I know! I was like, "good!" I'm very attached to it, and it's very attached to me!
Woman #3: Wait...what are we talking about?
Woman #1 (in loud whisper): I have a...huge mole. On my ass.

--Deli, 7th & Ave A

Teen girl: So I deleted my Facebook.
Teen guy: See! There's another one!
Teen girl: Another what?
Teen guy: Another difference, my last girlfriend deleted her MySpace and kept her Facebook. That's, like, so weird.
Teen girl: But we both had both.
Teen guy: Don't argue.

--2 Train