Overheard In…

Disgruntled Yankee fan #1: Tigers suck!
Disgruntled Yankee fan #2: They just beat us, asshole.

--Outside Yankee Stadium, after 6-2 Loss to Detroit

Overheard by: Jake Elwell

Club going girl to her friends: Gross, I have period stain.

Burnsville, Perkins
Overheard by questioning my sexuality for the first time ever.

College guy: You can’t keep it in your pants, so why keep it in the species?

St. Cloud, Wendy’s
Overheard by a.lil.

College girl #1: I can’t say ‘Helen Keller’ very well.
College girl #2: Neither could she.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.

Girl: Well, if there's going to be another girl, there has to be another guy too.
Guy: Hell no! Ain't no other dude putting his sausage in your jay-jay!

--E Train

Mom of bratty girl: Don’t look, I’m buying you a gift.
Bratty girl (after looking): Mom, God, I don’t even want that!

Mall of America
Overheard by a victim of black friday sales.

20 something woman: What is 30% off $9.99?
Friend: Uhmm, I don’t know. God, these sales are just too confusing.

Mall of America
Overheard by maybe No Child Left Behind is a good idea.

Bitter salesgirl, muttering while a song plays “Christmas is the best time of the year…” on Black Friday: Whoever wrote this song never worked retail.

Edina, Southdale Macy’s
Overheard by i wouldnt have christmas cheer in your position either!

Young woman, after vomiting all over the train: I'm fine.
Young man: You're not fine, you just threw up!
Young woman: Well, I'm fine now.

--Q Train

Overheard by: MPW

Concerned girl crossing street: But the light says "Don't walk"!
Amused friend: Right...so we run!

--Broadway & Houston

Overheard by: I was sauntering, personally

Woman: Is angel a boy or a girl?
Teenager: Angel's a boy, mom.
Woman: But he sounds like a girl!

--Nederlander Theatre

(after 20 minute discussion)
Kindergartener: What are we talking about?
Kindergarten teacher: Where have you been all day?
Kindergartener (shrugging) school.

--Public School

Dominican #1: But I'm a Jew, man!
Dominican #2: You're a Jew?
Dominican #1: Shit yeah.
Dominican #2: Man, I didn't know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1: Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew? Dominicans aren't Jews! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I've been feelin' Jewish like that. You know, like if there's a penny on the street I pick it up!

--168th St Subway

Guy #1: Getting old is not cool, man. I walked in on my mom in the shower once, it was gross...her boobs go down to her fucking knees.
Guy #2: No, they don't.
Guy #1: Yeah, what the fuck do you know?
(pause)
Guy #2: So, remember that party where she got drunk and smoked that salvia?

--14th St

Teen #1: Yo, scar's a thug...
Teen #2: But he didn't even kill him! He pushed him off a motherfuckin' cliff!
Teen #1: And then he got trampled by some...wilda'beast or some shit.

--Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Liz

Woman: God loves us all. It doesn't matter if you have a lot of money or where you come from. It's time for you to give yourself to him. Believe in god!
Man #1: Hey! Get off the PCP!
Man #2: Lady, shut the fuck up! Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Woman: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. (leaves)

--F Line, Church Ave Stop

Overheard by: carrieb

Hobo to cashier: Hey, Mike, are you a junkie?
Cashier: No.
Hobo: Would you like to be?

--Love Saves the Day, 7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Caelster

Managerial-looking guy in suit in lobby of movie theater: So let me get this straight. Your pregnant wife left in the middle of the movie, but you're still here.
Husband: Yeah, but I gave her cab fare.

--84th & Broadway

Kid to dad: Order a Margarita so I can have some.
Dad to kid: I don't drink alcohol and you are nine years old!

--Bar, Montegue Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: hungry law student

Guy #1: I was totally eyefucking her.
Guy #2: Yeah, you were eyefucking her from here to Puerto Rico.
Guy #1: Yeah, I was.

--6th Ave & 56th St

Overheard by: Chloe

Guy #1: You must be Italian.
Guy #2: Uh...no, I'm Jewish.
Guy #1: Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2: Of course I'm sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3: I don't like where this is going.

--6 Train

Overheard by: Jenya

Cute teenage girl: Ma, what's with that Pope? Isn't he a pedophile or something?
Mother: This is New York, honey. We take everybody.

--21st St & 5th Ave

Flagrantly homosexual Hispanic drag queen: So, I was like, lookin', and I realized what we been hearin' is true! And damnnnn, he looked hot.
Equally homosexual drag queen who unfortunately retained many masculine characteristics: What?! She's a man now?!

--Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Kat