Overheard In…

Woman to toddler: The devil is evil. That's why his name is spelled "d-evil".

--Greyhound Bus

World Music connoisseur #1: I think he's singing in Brazilian now.
World Music connoisseur #2: No, no...this song's in Argentinian.

--Manu Chao Concert, Prospect Park

Teen girl #1 (reading about Advil): "Take two for muscle aches." Hm, is the stomach a muscle?
Teen girl #2: It's not a muscle, I think it's an organ.
Teen girl #1: It's not organ, it is so a muscle. I'm going to take two.
Teen guy: Yo, just go to Duane Reade and get some Pepto-Bismol before you hurt yourself.

--Bay Terrace Shopping Center

Overheard by: mets fan

Tween #1: Yo, you should go out with her!
Tween #2: She gon' shit in yo mouf!

--67th Ave & 164th St, Queens

Overheard by: someone who's not into that kind of thing

Blonde girl: What's the first line of "O Canada"?
Asian girl: "O Canada."

--Broadway & Wellington

Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!

--Apple Bank, 86th St

Overheard by: hatia

20-something woman to 20-something man: You were thrown out because you were always creeping around all those women on the fourth floor.

--42nd St & 8th Ave

Guy: So yeah, now she says she's dating Steve.
Chick: Steve the crackhead or pyromaniac Steve?
Guy: The one who isn't in prison.
Chick: I thought you were dating him.
Guy: He found religion. Or something.

--West Village

Guy: Just know I chose my own fate: I drove by the fork in the road and went straight. Isn't it deep? I'm getting it tattooed on my shoulder.
Girl: Who are you quoting?
Guy: Jay-Z.

--34th St, Penn Station

Overheard by: No Lie

Headline by: Lauren

Runners-Up:
""99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One" Was Taken" - Cass
"Just How Big Is Your Shoulder?" - porter
"Maybe You Should Tattoo That Between Your Legs..." - LPS
"Monkeys With Typewriters Couldn't Ever End Up With Gold Like That" - Caitorade
"The Confucious Of Our Generation" - Fresca


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Drunk Asian girl to bouncer stamping her hand: What is this? What does this do?
Big black bouncer: It's a stamp.

--Central Bar, Near Astor Place

Overheard by: waiting to get in

Black woman #1: She thinks we're too old for laser tag!
Black woman #2: Uh-huh.
Black woman #1: I mean, as long as we aren't, like, thirty or something, we're okay.

--Dunkin Donuts, 125th & Lenox

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

College Student #1: Dude, how excited are you for Snakes on a Plane?
College Student #2: Snakes on a Plane? What's that about?

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Vadim

Mom, showing baby box of Dora the Explorer-themed diapers: Look, baby, you're gonna have Dora!
Baby (touching box): Dora!
Dad: You and Dora gonna have beef after you crap all over her.

--Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Matt Johnson

Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.

--WTC Site, Liberty Street

16-year old girl to 40-year-old creep: So my name is Jenny, that's Angie. My number is like, (516) 555-5555, and you can call me and us, like, anytime! We'll totally get together!
(pause)
40-year-old creep: What's your name again?

--Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Shira

Mom: The police are going to be everywhere today. They have to watch out for terrorists who might have bombs in their bags.
Little Boy: What if I accidentally have a bomb up my butt?
Mom: They'll have to squeeze it out of you. Being a policeman is a dangerous job.
Little Boy: But what if I fart, and it explodes?!
Mom: Being a policeman is a dangerous job.

--F Train

Overheard by: Stephanie E.

Eleven-year-old #1 (gasping): You have a PSP? That's so *royal*!
Eleven-year-old #2: I know! Isn't it sexy?

--JetBlue Flight, JFK

Overheard by: emily

Girl #1: When people make stuff out of metal, they just melt it, right?
Girl #2: I think so.
Girl #1: Still, metal's way better than plastic.
Girl #2: Totally.

--Astoria Blvd

Overheard by: sara n.