Archive for February, 2009
Went to a party, yadda, yadda, yadda, someone crushed my balls.
Friday, February 27th, 2009It’s their M.O.
Friday, February 27th, 2009That’s not a number.
Friday, February 27th, 2009And You Should Know, Ms. “I-Camped-Out-for-Bon-Jovi-Tickets”
Friday, February 27th, 2009Everything under one roof
Friday, February 27th, 2009…Since You Pooped in It
Friday, February 27th, 2009God, I Miss College
Friday, February 27th, 2009I’ll Bet They Are Bedazzled
Thursday, February 26th, 2009The Two Types Of People Who Eventually End Up at NYU
Thursday, February 26th, 2009By Getting Toasted?
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Seems to Be a Lot Of Getting Pooped on by Pigeons
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Thank Goodness We Don’t Actually Have to Know Anything About Their Bodies
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Yuppie guy: God, I can't even finish this. I feel completely bloated, like some chick. Disgusting.
Hipster guy: You feel like a chick?
Yuppie guy: Yeah...you know, like all girls get once a month: Bitchy, bloated, and popping those pills.
Hipster guy: You mean, like, the abortion pill?
--Pizza Shop, E 34th & 1st St
The Chili Is Going To Be Good Today
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Card-Swiper Lady at the dining hall to cook walking by: You can do it! You’re a new woman, remember?!
Northfield, 300 North College St
Overheard by i want to know what that’s referring to…
Spot Me If I Faint
Thursday, February 26th, 2009College girl to friend: Ash Wednesday sucks. I’ve been fasting all day and I’m so hungry I seriously think I’m going to pass out! Anyways, wanna work out with me tonight?!
St. Paul, St. Thomas dorms
Overheard by Good thing health services is across the hall from the gym.
The Last Doctor In The Family
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Meat head at the bar sunday morning: If my dad is a physician, does that make him a doctor?
Minneapolis, Herkimer
Overheard by Amazed by meat heads.
Not To Be Obvious, But You’re Actually Just Kind Of A Bitch
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Girl #1: Ugh, I hate how big my stomach gets after I eat; it’s just such a big food belly!
Girl #2: Not to be a bitch, but you’re actually just kinda fat.
U of M -Coffman Union
Overheard by well at least she clarified she wasn’t being a bitch…
Except Young, Old, Ugly Or Fat Asians
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Mid-20s guy, to co-worker: I’m a dick but I hate little kids, I hate old people, I hate ugly people and overly fat people, and I mean, I’m a bigger guy! I pretty much hate everyone. (pauses to think) But you know who I do like? I really like Asians. They are always so pleasant. Yep, I really enjoy Asians.
St. Paul, State Capitol
Overheard by a.lil.
“The Gym”
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Female coworker to another female coworker: Damn it, I went to the gym this morning and forgot my underwear again.
Male coworker passing by having overheard the conversation: I’ll check under my seats.
Minneapolis, At The Office
Is The Snow Fairy Off Handing Out STDs?
Thursday, February 26th, 20099th grade girl in locker room: We’re gonna get 6 inches of snow tonight. I just know. It was in my dream. The Herpes Fairy visited me.
Maplewood, MPA
Overheard by The Tooth Fairy has a sister?!?