Archive for March, 2009
Not Sure If This Overheard Is Racist Or Not
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Lifestyles Of the Wednesday One-Liners
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Concerned teacher: Where is Ronald Reagan? Who took Ronald Reagan?
--ACORN High School for Social Justice
Middle aged lady to companion: Ronald McDonald has his nose up Hello Kitty's dress.
--Macy's Balloon Inflation before Thanksgiving Day Parade
Hobo: If you ever touch Halle Berry, I'll fucking smack you!
--Bryant Park
Overheard by: Margot
Girl yelling to friend getting out of cab: Get back here before I bite you in the face like Chris Brown!
--St. Mark's Place & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Janelle
Stoner, as credits roll for movie Push: Dude...fuck Dakota Fanning!
--Palace Theatre
Guy: But come on, it's the Jonas Brothers in 3-D. It's like pimples and eyebrows, comin' at'cha!
--E 17th St
Overheard by: the Big R
Happy-go-lucky hobo: Liza Minelli? I thought that bitch was dead. (singing at the top of his lungs) I want to be a part of it...New York, New York!
--47th & 7th
Overheard by: Jesse Cromer
Brother, Can You Spare a Wednesday One-Liner?
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Girl on cell, pacing outside of restaurant: What happened to you? It was so good to run into you, but you look like a homeless person!
--St. Mark's Place b/w Ave A & 1st Ave
Guy to young girl: I think the homeless guy on my block has real self-esteem issues.
--Astor Place
Manager to hobo: Jesus Christ, don't let me catch you here again! The Radisson is right around the corner!
--McDonald's
Power walking suit on phone: I know, I've never actually seen a female hobo before.
--Grand Central
Suit on cell: So like, she was homeless, right? But she look gooood!
--6th & 19th
Overheard by: Sanam Skelly
Woman at red table with water jug: Help the homeless! C'mon! They don't like dat shit!
--Times Square
Overheard by: Cracka Jack
And I Told You Not to Wear All Brown
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Sleep Comes Easy Once Your Conscience Dies
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009How Do You Feel About This?
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Coffee shop regular: You know, I’ve come to the conclusion that Obama is the result of stem cell research.
The Bean Factory, Randolph Ave, St. Paul
Overheard by jessikate.
Cheap Appetizers
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Student in Study Hall to friends: Doesn’t Taco Bell have, like, F grade meat? But it smells so good. Like dogfood. I mean, dogfood smells really good. My sister used to eat dogfood. She’d just open up a can, put half in the dog dish, and put half on a plate.
Mendota Heights, local high school
Overheard by Amused Teacher
For All The Wrong Reasons
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Overweight coworker #1: Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, so I don’t feel bad about my weight anymore.
Overweight coworker #2: Oh, that’s true!!
Eagan, Cubicle Land
Overheard by But she was gorgeous…
I’d Like To Drop Something
Tuesday, March 31st, 200911-year-old with Bluetooth, channeling a 45-year-old double-divorcee: No, see… see… no. This is like when I want something for the house, like a $200 Lego set, and you say no. You know what? Let’s just drop it. LET’S JUST DROP IT. Okay?
Minneapolis, Target - Quarry
Overheard by I’ve never laughed in a kid’s face before, but damn.
Hang It Around Your Neck
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Girl, to friend holding a blue ruler: You know, that ruler really makes your eyes pop.
Maplewood, MPA
Overheard by My calculator brings out my highlights.
This Night Didn’t End Well
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009Sconi Girl: Fuck, I’ve got gut rot.
Rockabilly Gutter Punk: I’ve got some Skoal.
Sconi Girl: Ehhh, I’m a Copi girl.
Minneapolis, Nomad
Overheard by Dernell and Vayrose.