Archive for March, 2009
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Man outside stall to presumed child: Okay champ, have you done your business in there?
Very deep voice from stall: Still working on it, thanks!
--Men's Room, Grand Central Station
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Sales associate #1, assisting a customer: Are there any good thrillers in paperback?
Sales associate #2: No.
--Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Jake E
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Raucous blond toddler, shouting: I want pickles!
Harried young mother, shouting back even louder: We have pickles at home! I will give you pickles!
--Broadway & Bleecker
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Drunk hobo, eyeing designer bottled water: Hey lady, is that all vodka?
UES lady, without missing a beat: Not this morning.
--4 Train
Overheard by: austin
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
30’s Girl: Hi, I’m Sarah*. I’m not going to take my top off, but I’m Sarah.
Minneapolis, Nye’s Saturday Night
Overheard by The proof is under the shirt!
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Cubicle Neighbor: Yeah, I remember the days when you could date a stripper. Bring her home to mom and dad and before you know it you have to dump her because she’s dancing on the table. It’s like, “c’mon, you’re stepping all over the goddamn meatloaf”.
Brooklyn Park, office
Overheard by The guy in the corner.
Posted in Minneapolis | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Manager: Try hiking in Norway without wandering around goats. It’s impossible.
Eden Prairie, office
Overheard by slolee.
Posted in Minneapolis | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Girl #1: My next Netflix movie is ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’.
(pause)
Girl #2: That’s a movie title?
Girl #1: Yeah, have you not heard of it?
Girl #2: Are you sure you don’t mean ‘Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist’?
Girl #1: You really think I’d mix up those titles?
MOA
Overheard by Pretty much the same plot line…
Posted in Minneapolis | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Intellectual 8-year-old randomly: In my opinion, anyone who attacks a pirate is just as bad as the pirate. Right, dad?
Father: Sure.
MOA
Overheard by I bet he wishes his son talked about basketball.
Posted in Minneapolis | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Girl to gay guy: If you were a bird, you would totally be one that wore a tuxedo every day.
Gay guy: Lets go to the Bronx Zoo.
--45th & Lexington
Overheard by: CBro
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Student #1, commenting on hole in graph: Is it a black hole?
Student #2, sarcastically: No, a red hole.
Teacher, writing on brown blackboard: It's a brown hole.
(class bursts into laughter)
--Math Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Customer: I'll have a skim cafe au lait.
Barista: We call it a "cafe misto" here.
Cashier: Yeah, I think "cafe au lait" is Italian.
--Starbucks
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Young boy, about stumbling kid: What's wrong with her? What should we do?
Confident nine-year-old girl: It's okay, she just had too much tequila.
--Fordham University
Overheard by: Stunned
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Drunk black girl #1, hearing Hispanic dance song: I live in the Bronx. I hear this shit every day.
Drunk black girl #2: You live in Brooklyn.
Drunk black girl #1: My boyfriend lives in the Bronx and my rent is due.
--New Year's Eve Party, Spanish Harlem
Overheard by: Patrick
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Mother, after listening to child talking nonstop: You are so bizarre.
Six-year-old boy, seriously: I eat bugs.
--Central Park
Overheard by: Good to Know
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Woman, in line for bathroom: Is there actually anyone in the bathroom?
Man in front of her: Yeah.
Woman: Did someone die in there?
Man: I think the next person might.
--Starbucks, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: the dead guy's girlfriend
Headline by: Nick Pollotta
Runners-Up:
"Am I the Only One Fighting the Urge to Make a "Crappuccino" Joke Right Now?" - lauren beth
"I've Heard a Lot Of Screaming From Inside" - KMW
"Let's Use the Bathroom Of the Starbuck's Next Door" - Coyoty
"M. Night Shyamalan Finally Hits Rock Bottom" - Nick Pollotta
"Starbucks' Experiment With a Grande Broccoli and Bean Chai Latte Ended Then and There" - Chris
"Stephen King Is Running Out Of Material" - JohnAustin
"The Birth Of the "Ladies First" Concept" - Morning Glory
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
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Monday, March 30th, 2009
Teen #1: That's nasty, dude, she had strep throat last week. If you made out with her, you're totally gonna get strep throat.
Teen #2: Oh, fuck...can somebody get strep dick?
--N Train
Overheard by: -bill
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Monday, March 30th, 2009
Gangsta: Yo, you didn't even thank me when I was putting it in your ass!
Girl, indignant: I did thank you!
--Wagner College
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
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Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Man going into deli: Don't you have a sweater?
Hobo: Yeah, I got one.
Man: Well, put it on--you will catch cold.
Hobo: I'll put it on later.
Man: Put it on now, you cannot afford to catch cold in your line of business.
--181st & Fort Washington
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Girl #1: We can't cross now! There are cars coming!
Girl #2, beginning to walk into street: Well, they can't hit all of us.
--Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Following the leader
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Guy #1, discussing Plaxico Burress: Who the hell would name their kid "Plaxico"? Sounds like the name of an equine.
Guy #2: A what?
Guy #1: A horse, nigga.
Guy #2: Sheeeit!
--Whitehall & Water
Overheard by: PJ P.
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Blonde European: I get lost between the avenues.
Brunette European: Me too!
--16th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jenny and LaLa
Posted in New York | No Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
NYC cop #1: You ever seen Bobby's World?
NYC cop #2: Yeah!
--The Pond, Manhattan
Overheard by: Oscar
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Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Student, reading incorrectly from The Scarlet Letter: "Gorgeous luxuriance of fantasy..."
English teacher: "Fancy."
Student: "Fancy." I can't read.
English teacher: I know.
--English Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Posted in New York | No Comments »