Overheard In...

Though I Think Of It As More Of a Divine Calling

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Working man: Yo, what's that?
Hobo, shaking cup of coins: Huh?
Working man: What is that?
Hobo: It's a cup, you got any money?
Working man: Yeah, I got money in my pocket.
Hobo: Well, gimme some!
Working man: I ain't got money to be givin' away. I just did my eight hours.
Hobo: Well, I'm gettin' my eight hours too, shit!

--F Train

Overheard by: ninja

Posted 2009-04-05

Spiced With Uninformed Opinion from Around the World!

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Little boy near cafe: What's that smell?
Passerby: It's the smell of knowledge!

--Barnes & Noble

Posted 2009-04-05

Circus Is About the Fact That I’m Hung Like an Elephant

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.

--1 Train

Posted 2009-04-05

Every Day I Test Myself, and Every Day I Fail.

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 07:00:00 +0000

Subway operator: This downtown 1 train will not be stopping at 50th Street. I repeat, will not be stopping at 50th Street.
(a minute passes)
Subway operator: We will not be stopping at 50th Street. There is a stalled train there. We will be going straight to 42nd without stopping at 50th.
(another minute goes by)
Subway operator: This is a downtown 1 train, next stop will be 50th. Shit! 42nd.

--1 Train

Posted 2009-04-05

We Can Afford Coke.

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Woman: Looks like you guys got your drink on tonight.
Drunk frat boy: I don't drink--I'm the VP of programming!

--PATH

Overheard by: DBrickashaw

Posted 2009-04-05

Though It Still Doesn’t Explain Why You Keep Forcing Me to Watch WALL-E

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:00:00 +0000

Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d...violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.

--Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria

Posted 2009-04-04

Strangely, She Then Mentioned a “Russian Judge” and a “German Judge”

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Male Fordham student: I think I witnessed a girl getting bad news about either being pregnant or getting STDs!
Female Fordham student: How do you know?!
Male Fordham student: Because she was on the phone and I heard her say "wait, that's not possible, how could the results come back as that?"

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Posted 2009-04-04

We Imagine This with a Rap Beat to It

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!

--3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th

Posted 2009-04-04

Explain How

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 21:00:00 +0000

Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.

--Times Square

Posted 2009-04-04

When We Limit Our Cancer Sources, the Terrorists Win

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 19:00:00 +0000

Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Queso

Posted 2009-04-04

And That Was Really More Of Something to Gnaw on While Playing Poker

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Guy #1: I went out drinking last night and didn't smoke.
Guy #2: Except cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, besides that.

--PATH Sation

Posted 2009-04-04

No Matter What My Gymnastics Coach Says

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Conductor: If you see something, say something.
Crazy fat lady reading book: Mind your own business, don't say anything. (a few minutes later) I don't wanna be no Asian, I don't wanna be the size of no Asian.

--Downtown A train

Posted 2009-04-04

And It Was Cooked to Perfection

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Young female at happy hour #1: So getting a free dinner was cool.
Young female at happy hour #2: Yeah, it's not like that roach was on the plate.

--7th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: Ed

Posted 2009-04-04

Why Mr. Peanut’s Family Stopped Having Reunions

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Nutsy guy #1: I'm nuttier than you are!
Nutsy guy #2: No!

--Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted 2009-04-04

Possibly Worst Pick-up Line Ever.

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 10:34:00 +0000

Or Thinking Something– Which Is Rarely.

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Asian in suit: Do you think I'm like, really serious?
Asian chick: Yeah, you're serious about pretty much everything.
Asian suit: But only when, I'm like, doing something.

--112th & Broadway

Overheard by: okay...

Posted 2009-04-04

Do We Go to Your Country and Act All American?…Oh, Wait.

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:00:00 +0000

British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck...off.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Dropping Eaves

Posted 2009-04-04

And I Think He’d Look Hot in a Top Hat and Bowtie

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Boyfriend: Ah, don't listen to her, she still believes in magic.
Girlfriend: Jesus! I believe in Jesus!

--117th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Schenk

Posted 2009-04-04

Who Says Stuff Like That Except Virgins?

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:00:00 +0000

TV guy #1: We're not putting whores on tv.
TV guy #2: Are you a virgin?
TV guy #1: No, this cherry has been popped.

--Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Derek

Posted 2009-04-03

Even Better Than My Current One

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:32:46 +0000

30’s-something woman chatting on Facebook: I just found out that my father-in-law was murdered!
20’s-something woman: What? You saw that on Facebook?
30’s-something woman: Yeah. I’m chatting with my husband and he just told me his father was murdered. I mean, he wasn’t JUST murdered, but I just found out about it, so he was just murdered to me.
20’s-something woman: YOU’RE MARRIED?!? I didn’t know that!
30’s-something woman: Neither did he. I just told him that we never got divorced. He said, “Ten years with no arguments, no nagging, and no responsibility? Best marriage I’ve ever had!”

Minneapolis, the smallest breakroom ever
Overheard by I remember signing my divorce papers.

But Only If They Wore Leather Chaps

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Dude #1: I had a dream that we got to hang out backstage with Metallica after the concert on Saturday.
Dude #2: That would be fucking awesome.
Dude #1: We would totally get laid.
Dude #2: By Metallica?
Dude #1: I'd do it.

--N Train

Overheard by: Mr. Bobo

Posted 2009-04-03

To Ward Off Sketchy Men in Bars

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Gross older man: Yeah, she was hot but her pussy always smells.
Gross older woman: Mine never smells...unless I pee on myself.

--Staten Island Ferry

Posted 2009-04-03

Don’t Be Shy About Expressing Your Feelings

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:17:02 +0000

Office Male: What have you found out about using the Facebook?
Older Office Male: It seems to be a list serve, but the communication isn’t as meaningful.
Office Male: What do you mean?
Older Office Male: I don’t care what people are doing on Facebook. So and so is having wine and wanting girl talk. I just don’t feel compelled to respond. Maybe I don’t want girl talk right now.

Minneapolis, office
Overheard by Jim.

And Riding The Bus All Day

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:13:35 +0000

Crazy guy, after talking to himself for 30 minutes: If you take a man away from his writing, you have left that man naked.

Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by Do NOT make eye cantact with crazy people.

No, You Weren’t

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:10:46 +0000

Girl #1 in elevator to her friend: Do you even know what Easter is about?
Girl #2 in elevator: No. You know, I should. I was raised Catholic. I think.

U of M
Overheard by Way to go priests.