Overheard In...

Junkies All Ride Unicycles, You Know

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:00:00 +0000

Hipster girl staring at bike locked to sign: Why would anyone steal just the front wheel of a bike?
Hipster guy: To buy heroin.

--Grand & Driggs

Overheard by: Adam

Posted 2008-11-21

And Removed Them for That Video

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:00:00 +0000

Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one!
Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures.

--Strawberry, Union Square

Posted 2008-11-21

If This Were a Movie, They’d Go on to Form This Season’s Unlikeliest Friendship

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Hobo to teen girl with an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt: Fitch...Fitch... How can you wear a shirt like that? Multimillion dollars...when there's so many bigger problems? Stupid...stupid.
Girl: Um, excuse me?
Hobo: How much they pay you to wear that around?
Girl (with attitude): Four. Thousand. Dollars.
Hobo: I..
Girl (interrupting): An hour.
Hobo: Oh, okay, understandable.

--Central Park

Overheard by: heygirlhey

Posted 2008-11-21

You’ve Mastered the Thin Line Between Dreds and Pigtails

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:00:00 +0000

Girl #1: Aw, you look like a cute bum.
Girl #2: Thanks!

--Leon M. Goldstein High School

Overheard by: Robert

Posted 2008-11-21

Sounds Delish–Buh-Bye, Now

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:00:00 +0000

Thug: Hello ladies--give me some money, come on, show me what your workin' with!
Girls: Sorry.
Thug: If I had money I'd buy a box of frosted flakes, organic milk and you two on the side. Yeehaaa!

--Keyfoods, 5th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: Elspeth Tremblay

Posted 2008-11-21

Mommy Needs A Grown-up Playdate

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:41:00 +0000

Raising a Masochist Has Its Challenges

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:00:00 +0000

Yuppie mom to crying daughter: Sophie, put your jacket on or you're going to get sick and have to get shots!
Detached father: Yeah, ten shots...and they'll hurt.

--Bleecker & MacDougal

Overheard by: Samskiii

Posted 2008-11-21

Should We Call the Better Business Bureau?

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Guy #1, sitting on bench looking at own hand: This isn't LSD, these are...pieces of cardboard, that guy just ripped me off.
Guy #2, sitting next to him: Lemme eat one, we'll see.

--Washignton Square

Overheard by: guthrie

Posted 2008-11-21

Sweet Georgia Brown Loves Basketball

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 03:00:00 +0000

Three-year-old girl: They got balls!
Mom: Balls?
Three-year-old girl: Yeeeeah!

--Globetrotters Game, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: amira

Posted 2008-11-20

There’s a Word for That?

admin — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0000

Female teacher: What's that word for men who draw the male anatomy?
Male student: Uh..."penis"?

--Stuyvesant High School

Posted 2008-11-20

PUT DOWN THE TANNING LOTION

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:55:24 +0000

Young man checking out woman at other table: She’s a nice shade of…
Young man not humoring him: Orange?

St Paul, Concordia University

And Grandma Would Scold You

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:53:44 +0000

20-something woman to a 20-something man: We could never sit by each other in church because we would get the church giggles.

Roseville, Borders bookstore, Rosedale Mall

She Saved Me From Having To Ask

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:51:06 +0000

One female coworker to another female coworker while walking down the work hallway: Damn, I JUST started my period!

Minneapolis, 901 Marquette, 20th Floor
Overheard by J.

Wouldn’t She Then Assume It Happened Tomorrow?

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:50:00 +0000

Confused girl: I feel like it just happened two days ago.
Concerned girl: Maybe you’re dyslexic.

St Paul, Concordia University

There’s Not Enough Space For All The Jokes

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:42:38 +0000

20-something girl: Just stay between my legs and you’ll keep warm.

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities97 Sampler

Please Do Not Hurt Anyone Over The Cities 97 Sampler

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:38:54 +0000

Target Employee: When we open the doors, please do not run, shove, hit, punch, scratch, bite or cause disorder.
20-something girl: But we can swim, right!?

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities 97 Sampler
Overheard by Michael Phelps.

Work It

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:30:21 +0000

Dorky, 30-something white construction worker to his dorky, 30-something white construction worker friends: Don’t make me unleash the swagger!

Downtown Minneapolis, AT&T skyway
Overheard by do you even know what a swagger is?

Mark This On Your Calendar

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:23:47 +0000

Young Dude (on his ex): Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn’t really want to do.
Female Friend: Like?
Young Dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.
Female Friend: (agreement)

17 bus outta downtown
Overheard by yeah, i hate having sex with people i’m dating.

Can’t Compete

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:19:27 +0000

A high school girl after a screening of “Let the Right One In”: Well, it’s no Twilight.

Minneapolis, Lagoon Theater
Overheard by it’s no Twilight, because it’s good.

I Couldn’t Even Scale A Building

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:12:01 +0000

Suddenly serious 12 year old boy: That Batman Lego set was SUCH a disappointment.

Uptown, GameStop

Saving More Than Time

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:01:24 +0000

Woman #1: So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: I’m invited to my brother’s house and I’m invited to my sister’s house.
(pause)
Woman #1: So, what are you going to do?
Woman #2: Stay home.

Saint Paul, an office

So This Is Kosher?

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 23:00:00 +0000

White guy: Hi, I'd like a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Uh, no, a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Um, no. (points at pork bun) I'd like a pork bun. Pork.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Oh. (pause) Chicken bun?
White guy: Yes. Chicken bun.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Two dollar.

--Chinatown

Overheard by: Steve Major

Posted 2008-11-20

Tonight on Lost

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:00:00 +0000

Young girl on father's shoulders (pointing to statue in Union Square): Is that George Washington?
Father (very matter-of-factly): Yes, it is. That's why this is called Washington Square Park.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Stephanie Box

Posted 2008-11-20

Now Who Gets Stuck Being Velma?

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:00:00 +0000

Asian teen #1 (pointing to friend sitting nearby): Hey, Richard*, are you tall?
(friend shrugs) Okay, you can be shaggy! (pointing to kid sitting next to him) And you can be Scooby-Doo!
Asian teen #2 (from the other side of the car): Ooh! I wanna be Fred!

--7 Train

Overheard by: Bastian

Posted 2008-11-20

Josh Decides to Register and Vote

admin — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:00:00 +0000

Hobo to 20-something guy: Who you votin' for?
Guy: I don't vote.
Hobo: You better fuckin' not.
Guy to friends: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

--Little Italy

Posted 2008-11-20