Overheard In…

Girl 1: Isn't Passover coming up soon?

Girl 2: Yeah. It's okay at first, but I get sick of eating matzoh after a while.

Girl 1: I'm not Jewish, but I like to eat it.

Girl 2: Do you know why the Jews eat matzoh at passover?

Girl 1: I think it's, like, because the Jews were baking bread when the Nazis came and they didn't have time to wait for it to cook, right?

@slc

overheard by: ann

Girl: Hey, you wanna give blood with me?

Guy: No, I have an STD.

@russell hall

overheard by: jade

Drunk girl: Didn't you owe me five dollars?

Sober girl 1: I don't even know you.

Drunk girl: Oh, you have a nice night.

(Drunk girl stumbles away)

Sober girl 1: Works every time.

Sober girl 2: What? You just cheated a drunk girl.

Sober girl 1: Oh. Oh, I was totally kidding. Chill. I don't know her.

@downtown

overheard by: louie

(Two girls walk up to a darkened classroom and read the note on the door)

Girl 1: Yes! Yes!

Girl 2: The baby came, the baby came!

(They jump up and down, celebrating as they leave)

@baldwin

overheard by: anony

Girl 1: Oh, did you know that Condoleezza Rice is an Alphi Chi Omega?

Girl 2: Yeah, they told us during rush. So was Neil Armstrong's wife.

Girl 3: Didn't he and Sheryl Crow get a divorce?

@church hall

overheard by: holly hox

Sorostitute: I talked to my mom today and she told me she was pregnant.

Guy: And what did you have to say about that?

Sorostitute: Well, first I asked her if it belonged to dad.

@russell

overheard by: what?

Professor: Any questions?

(class is silent)

Professor: Praise the Lord.

(class is silent)

Professor: When I say Praise the Lord, you say Hallelujah.

Class: Hallelujah!

@cell biology lecture

overheard by: science major

(Professor is passing out tests alphabetically and gets to the Ps)

Professor: Looks like I've hit the Patel section.

@cell biology

overheard by: science major

Guy 1: So, how much is an ounce of the Irish Creme?

Cashier: A dollar and sixty-five cents.

Guy 2: Wow, that must be nice.

@smoker's den

overheard by: womack

Girl 1: What's that saying? Denial isn't just a river, it's a...

Girl 2: What are you talking about?

Girl 1: You know, denial...

Girl 2: You've lost your metaphor.

@library

overheard by: louie

Professor: Iambic poetry is like the missionary position, the norm. Trochaic is more like the reverse cowgirl... the more off the wall.

@english 1102

overheard by: anonymous

(After sending a text message)

Drunk girl: Shit, I totally didn't mean to send that!

Sober girl: Send what?

Drunk girl: Well, I told him I would see him later and I put the the winky face instead of the smiley face! Now he thinks I totally wanna do him! Damn you, winky face!

@downtown

overheard by: aeg

Sorostitute on cell: Hey! My lucky red thong came through for me! He actually wanted to... hey, let me call you back... I think some people here are listening and I don't want this all over the Internet.

@slc

overheard by: snoopy

Girl: Would you be more upset if I told you that I was pregnant or that I gave you an STD?

Guy: Pregnant.

Girl: Ok... now don't get upset, but I have something to tell you.

@outside starbucks

overheard by: z

Girl 1: I can see your panties! They're white!

Girl 2: No, you can't. They're gray.

Girl 1: Yeah, my panties are green, and I think they have poo on them. They're awesome.

(Girl 2 stares)

Girl 1: Winnie! Winnie the Pooh!

@vet school

overheard by: tmi

Guy on cell: Yeah, if you see him tell him to call his mom because a bum found his cell phone in a parking lot. Yeah he's probably going to want money or beer.

@orbit

overheard by: j

(Student's phone rings loudly in lecture)

Professor: Aaargggh!

(Student quickly shuts off phone)

Professor: I need a hammer.

@slc

overheard by: ape.

Guy: Can I get the spicy chicken sandwich?

Waitress: Sure. Do you want extra hot, hot, medium, or mild?

Guy: Um... spicy.

@locos eastside

overheard by: anonymous

Guy 1: The first two weeks of intro to accounting last semester, every time they said "profits" I thought they were saying "prophets."

Guy 2: Dude, seriously, were you home-schooled?

@slc

overheard by: snoopy

Sorostitute 1: Omigod, this test is going to be so hard! We should not have gone out last night.

Sorostitute 2: Girl, I know. I didn't even wear mascara today because I know I'll be crying after we take it!

@chemistry

overheard by: laughing on the inside

Fratty: I love the Beatles.

Girl: Yeah, me too!

Fratty: I have, like, all their albums. I have 2 copies of Dark Side of the Moon.

Girl: Wow, that's my favorite.

@bookstore

overheard by: bookie

Girl: It's Super Tuesday, don't forget to vote.

Sorostitute: Ohimog! Yeah! Mardi Gras! I totally forgot. Why do we vote for Mardi Gras, again?

@aderhold

overheard by: anon

Girl: It's Super Tuesday, don't forget to vote.

Sorostitute: Ohimog! Yeah! Mardi Gras! I totally forgot. Why do we vote for Mardi Gras, again?

@aderhold

overheard by: anon

(Guy 1 puts up a power point about his thesis with a title slide about acuity theory)

Guy 2: Aw, man, is this the acuity lecture again?

Guy 1: No, that's just a big, fucking typo. Yes, it's the acuity lecture.

Guy 2: Come on, we want some new shit.

@psychology

overheard by: kob

(Guy 1 puts up a power point about his thesis with a title slide about acuity theory)

Guy 2: Aw, man, is this the acuity lecture again?

Guy 1: No, that's just a big, fucking typo. Yes, it's the acuity lecture.

Guy 2: Come on, we want some new shit.

@psychology

overheard by: kob