30’s-something woman chatting on Facebook: I just found out that my father-in-law was murdered!
20’s-something woman: What?  You saw that on Facebook?
30’s-something woman: Yeah.  I’m chatting with my husband and he just told me his father was murdered.  I mean, he wasn’t JUST murdered, but I just found out about it, so he was just murdered to me.
20’s-something woman:  YOU’RE MARRIED?!?  I didn’t know that!
30’s-something woman: Neither did he.  I just told him that we never got divorced.  He said, “Ten years with no arguments, no nagging, and no responsibility?  Best marriage I’ve ever had!”

Minneapolis, the smallest breakroom ever
Overheard by I remember signing my divorce papers.

Office Male: What have you found out about using the Facebook?
Older Office Male: It seems to be a list serve, but the communication isn’t as meaningful.
Office Male: What do you mean?
Older Office Male: I don’t care what people are doing on Facebook. So and so is having wine and wanting girl talk.  I just don’t feel compelled to respond. Maybe I don’t want girl talk right now.

Minneapolis, office
Overheard by Jim.

Crazy guy, after talking to himself for 30 minutes: If you take a man away from his writing, you have left that man naked.

Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by Do NOT make eye cantact with  crazy people.

Girl #1 in elevator to her friend: Do you even know what Easter is about?
Girl #2 in elevator: No. You know, I should. I was raised Catholic. I think.

U of M
Overheard by Way to go priests.

Mother waiting in line to pay with her sons and husband: Boys, did you see that little girl over there? Wasn’t she cute?
Little boy #1: Yeah!
Little boy #2: She was a girl!!
Husband: Yes, she was a girl.
Little boy #2: And I’m a BOY!
Little boy #1: Me too!!
Husband: Oh really? And HOW do you know that you’re boys?
Little boys #1 and #2: WE HAVE GONADS!
Husband: YAY!!

Woodbury, Sam’s Club
Overheard by made MY day.

Happy yet ignorant-looking woman: Oh! Free rides on St. Patrick’s Day!

Minneapolis, on the 18
Overheard by It’s April, fool!

Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: Hey man, how’s it going?
Kid #2: What did you say, I didn’t understand?
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: How could you not understand that? I mean, do you have dyslexia of the ear?

Roseville, at home
Overheard by CHUBBY2THEMAX

Tiny drunk girl to other drunk girl: I’m drunk right now, but not like bad drunk… more like good drunk.

St. Paul, MN Wild Game
Overheard by I beg to differ on the good drunk…

Nerdy Girl: I didn’t want to fight last night because I forgot my jill. And what would I say if I had to explain it to my mom? I got hurt just a little bit lower down.
Nerdy girl’s friend: What, like a concussion on your vagina?

St. Paul, St. Kates
Overheard by its called your princess.

Girl talking to herself: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Girl #2: Who were you talking to?
Girl talking to herself: YOU.
Girl#2: I wasn’t saying anything.
Girl talking to herself: Really?

Maplewood, MPA
Overheard by Dazzling Drawer.

Waitress trying to impress restaurant critic at a new-age, go-green cafe: Here’s our rhubarb pie, it’s gluten free. (critic takes a bite) It’s gluten free. (pause) It doesn’t have wheat.

Duluth, Chester Creek Cafe
Overheard by Wait, does that have gluten in it?

Contest Entry:

Between now and Monday, April 6th, submit your overheard through the Observe and Report form, located above. If your submission receives the most + (thumbs up) votes, you’ll win admission to an advanced viewing of Observe & Report! 

When:

The showing is on Tuesday, April 7th at 7:30pm, at AMC Rosedale.

Rules:

Send all submissions through the contest form. Overheards submitted through the regular form will not be entered into the contest.

Your name and valid email are required to enter. If you do prefer to remain anonymous, you can still use the regular submission form, but those overheards will not be entered into the contest. If you should win, we will need a valid way to contact you.

Only one submission per person per day.

The standard submission guidelines still apply.

Feel free to contact me if you have questions! Good luck!

Girl in front of me who’s boyfriend just bought her 1 bag of regular sized Skittles: Baby, will you buy me these? I want a bag for my Skittles, I just don’t like it when I gots the Skittles all up in my pockets looking all bulging and stuff. I’m not bulging, I want a bag for my Skittles. Here, you take ‘em.

Minneapolis, Stevens Square, Third Ave Market
Overheard by Jim (playdead) Sorenson.

College Guy #1: What’s that sour smell?
College Guy #2: Minnesota.

U of M West Bank

Guy: It’s probably some guy behind a desk losin’ your shit in cyberspace. That why I be puttin’ mine in a safe and burying it.

Minneapolis, Downtown bus stop

Co-worker #1: Did you catch Idol last night?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, the last few minutes.
Co-worker #1: I can’t believe they let that last guy do that song he did. It was kinda funny, but I think they let it go too far.
Co-worker #2: Ain’t No Sunshine?
Co-worker #1: Oh! Ain’t No Sunshine! I thought he was singing Anal Sunshine. I was all like, what?!

Chanhassen, Cubicles
Overheard by Randall Countrie.

Young Neon-Redhead Employee: At least my face looks better.
Young Blonde Employee: Better than what?  Your butt?

St. Louis Park, Knollwood Mall Panera
Overheard by Just refilling my iced tea.

Coffee shop regular: You know, I’ve come to the conclusion that Obama is the result of stem cell research.

The Bean Factory, Randolph Ave, St. Paul
Overheard by jessikate.

Student in Study Hall to friends: Doesn’t Taco Bell have, like, F grade meat? But it smells so good. Like dogfood. I mean, dogfood smells really good. My sister used to eat dogfood. She’d just open up a can, put half in the dog dish, and put half on a plate.

Mendota Heights, local high school
Overheard by Amused Teacher

Overweight coworker #1: Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, so I don’t feel bad about my weight anymore.
Overweight coworker #2: Oh, that’s true!!

Eagan, Cubicle Land
Overheard by But she was gorgeous…

11-year-old with Bluetooth, channeling a 45-year-old double-divorcee: No, see… see… no. This is like when I want something for the house, like a $200 Lego set, and you say no. You know what? Let’s just drop it. LET’S JUST DROP IT. Okay?

Minneapolis, Target - Quarry
Overheard by I’ve never laughed in a kid’s face before, but damn.

Girl, to friend holding a blue ruler: You know, that ruler really makes your eyes pop.

Maplewood, MPA
Overheard by My calculator brings out my highlights.

Sconi Girl: Fuck, I’ve got gut rot.
Rockabilly Gutter Punk: I’ve got some Skoal.
Sconi Girl: Ehhh, I’m a Copi girl.

Minneapolis, Nomad
Overheard by Dernell and Vayrose.

30’s Girl: Hi, I’m Sarah*.  I’m not going to take my top off, but I’m Sarah.

Minneapolis, Nye’s Saturday Night
Overheard by The proof is under the shirt!

Cubicle Neighbor: Yeah, I remember the days when you could date a stripper.  Bring her home to mom and dad and before you know it you have to dump her because she’s dancing on the table.  It’s like, “c’mon, you’re stepping all over the goddamn meatloaf”.

Brooklyn Park, office
Overheard by The guy in the corner.