Overheard In…

Young man checking out woman at other table: She’s a nice shade of…
Young man not humoring him: Orange?

St Paul, Concordia University

20-something woman to a 20-something man: We could never sit by each other in church because we would get the church giggles.

Roseville, Borders bookstore, Rosedale Mall

One female coworker to another female coworker while walking down the work hallway: Damn, I JUST started my period!

Minneapolis, 901 Marquette, 20th Floor
Overheard by J.

Confused girl: I feel like it just happened two days ago.
Concerned girl: Maybe you’re dyslexic.

St Paul, Concordia University

20-something girl: Just stay between my legs and you’ll keep warm.

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities97 Sampler

Target Employee: When we open the doors, please do not run, shove, hit, punch, scratch, bite or cause disorder.
20-something girl: But we can swim, right!?

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities 97 Sampler
Overheard by Michael Phelps.

Dorky, 30-something white construction worker to his dorky, 30-something white construction worker friends: Don’t make me unleash the swagger!

Downtown Minneapolis, AT&T skyway
Overheard by do you even know what a swagger is?

Young Dude (on his ex): Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn’t really want to do.
Female Friend: Like?
Young Dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.
Female Friend: (agreement)

17 bus outta downtown
Overheard by yeah, i hate having sex with people i’m dating.

A high school girl after a screening of “Let the Right One In”: Well, it’s no Twilight.

Minneapolis, Lagoon Theater
Overheard by it’s no Twilight, because it’s good.

Suddenly serious 12 year old boy: That Batman Lego set was SUCH a disappointment.

Uptown, GameStop

Woman #1: So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: I’m invited to my brother’s house and I’m invited to my sister’s house.
(pause)
Woman #1: So, what are you going to do?
Woman #2: Stay home.

Saint Paul, an office

12th grader to no one in particular: You know what word I hate? Spurt. It just sounds dirty. Kind of like ‘tight budget.’ Something about a ‘tight budget’ just isn’t right.

Pine River, English classroom
Overheard by Neither of those were on the vocab list this week.

Blonde girl in pink jacket with ugg boots: I totally get irresponsible in the winter time. I haven’t sent my Netflix back in, like, three days!

University of Minnesota classroom
Overheard by And I thought I was responsible…

Girl #1 walking through underground tunnel: I wonder if they have a microphone in here.
Girl #2: Where would they put it, under all the mold?

St Paul, Concordia University
Overheard by mold.

Overly tan taco lover: So can you, like, get your fingers all the way around it? Like it’s a marble?  And it’s really close to the skin’s surface? Does pus ooze out around it? How old is she? Maybe it has been growing like that for a while now?

Richfield, Taco Bell
Overheard by i think i am done with my crunch wrap supreme.

Kitchen staff on smoke break out back: I gotta let my toe heal so they can amputate it.

St Paul, Bulldog Lowertown
Overheard by it needs to heal before you cut it off?

Coworker to another: If you want, you guys could come over to my house and hang out while I take a shower.

Lakeville, The office
Overheard by Should I sit in the tub or on the toilet?

Half drunk man at the bar: Why are you wearing a teardrop on a necklace?  Did you kill someone?
Young woman waiting for a drink: It’s from Tiffany’s.

St. Paul, Plum’s Bar
Overheard by But did you kill someone to get it?

Man to driver on a jam packed 6 bus during rush hour: Man, you can’t be letting any more people on cause its gettin’ kinda tense.

6, bus
Overheard by a more frequent rider.

Blonde to receptionist, pointing to a big jar of loose pills: What are you going to do with all those left-over vitamins?
Receptionist: I don’t know? Flush ‘em?
Blonde: You should totally take them to St Anne’s. Homeless people need Vitamin B, too!

Minneapolis, Dr’s Office
Overheard by: i think they need homes more than vitamins.

Disgusted, older woman not yet used to, or ready for Minnesota winters: It’s snowing AGAIN?!

White Bear Lake, Subway
Overheard by AA.

Young woman playing video games: Did I tell you I found my chex mix?

St Paul, Concordia University Call Center

Girl #1: You would probably have to be outside for a really long time for your eyeballs to freeze.
Girl #2:  Okay, bye!

St.Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by she’s reassured now.

Man Stumbling Into Apartment Elevator: Whaaa floor?
Twenty-something woman: Uh, two.
Man Stumbling Into Elevator: Man, that floor sucks.

Saint Paul, Just Another Downtown Apartment Building
Overheard by So why’d he get off on the same floor?

Nerdy guy, to friend: We could randomly break out into riverdance in the middle of travel.  (awkward silence) You know you want to.
Friend: No. Just, no.
Nerdy guy: Fine, then we can jazzercise!

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.