Overheard In…

10 year old boy: Look at that snow! You don’t even know if there are humans down there!

Burnsville, MN, Top of Tubing Hill at Buck Hill
Overheard by Amused.

Punk Rocker: I’m going to a New Year’s Eve VIP party at the IDS center.
Friend: Oh yeah? How’d you manage that?
Punk Rocker: I’m going with Deena. She’s a Jew, so she’s got connections.

Mankato, Borad Street Apartment
Overheard by D.R.B.

Boyfriend: What the f%&# is Beyonce doing on the cover of Seventeen Magazine?
Girlfriend: I don’t know. It’s just a magazine. It don’t matter.
Boyfriend: It matters to me.

Minneapolis, Hiawatha Walgreens magazine aisle
Overheard by perpetuallyamused.

McDonalds Employee: Jane, I need some more boy toys!
Jane (McDonalds Employee): Don’t you already have enough?

St Paul, University McDonalds
Overheard by: One of Jane’s many boy toys.

Woman eating:  Oh, this is so spicy!
Friend:  Is it regular hot or Norwegian hot?

Minneapolis, Roat Osha in Uptown
Overheard by it’s not that spicy.

Client, after being denied funds: You wanna cut me off?  Fine!  I got a breadmaker between MY legs and honey I know how to use it!

Minneapolis, An office full of joy
Overheard by Social Work Drone.

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, he said because you insulted him you need to bring beer.
Friend to guy: And porn.
Guy into cell: And he says you need to bring porn. (then to friend) Do you want straight porn?
Friend:  I don’t know what that means, but I definitely want a plot.

Minneapolis, House party
Overheard by who really cares?

Cashier chatting up two girls: I don’t know if you know anything about the Uptown area, but it can be pretty dangerous.  You need to be pretty careful.
Girl #1: We live at Cedar-Riverside.
Girl #2 aside: I fall asleep to gunshots.

Minneapolis, Cheapo
Overheard by beat that.

Guy (sitting down at a table with a group of girls he doesn’t know): Hey guys? Can I eat here? Thanks.
Girl #1 (trying to be nice): So, what’s your major?
Guy: English, but I’m thinking of changing to Spanish.
Girl #2: Oh. That’s sweet.
Guy: Or is it sour?
Girls: Uh…
Guy: Or what’s not bitter? Or salty? Or tangy?
Girl #2 whispers to girl #1: Seriously?
Guy: Or maybe spicy? Or bland? Yeah, I usually run out after eight taste buds.

U of MN dining hall
Overheard by painful to listen to.

Mother: You stay away from that Hannah Montana! She’s NO GOOD.
Teen Daughter: But whyyy?
Mother: She’s NO GOOD, Ariana, NO GOOD. (walks away muttering under her breath)

Maplewood, Michael’s
Overheard by Alco.

Single flirty girl in her mid-30s to the bartender (looking at an Andy Warhol painting of Mao Zedong on the wall): Is that a picture of Wolfgang Puck?
Bartender (trying not to rudely laugh): Um, no, that’s Mao Zedong, a famous leader of the Chinese Communist party.
Single flirty girl:  Oh. Um, can I get another one of these martinis, they’re really good!

20.21 bar at the Walker
Overheard by Cultural patron of the arts.

50-something woman, about the loud noise during a turn: Uh-oh! Sounds like we’ve got a loose wheel!

Bloomington, Lightrail
Overheard by Sounds like you’ve got a loose wheel.

Girlfriend:  I NEVER clog the toilet.
Boyfriend:  Oh yeah, what about that time after Subway?
10 year old bystander:  Talk about a 5 dollar footlong.

Slayton, Christmas Party
Overheard by Heh.

Girl #1: Oh my god, I stayed up all last night to finish that project on Ojibwe.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you’re so stupid! The project was on Zimbabwe!
Girl #1: They’re the same thing, stupid!
Girl #2: Oh.

Minneapolis, South High AP English class
Overheard by they rhyme, so…close enough.

 Loud, eccentric woman wearing brightly striped tights with her outfit: Tights! I’m telling you.  Tights are the key to tying together an outfit.  When things just don’t go together, you gotta get some fun tights or stockings.  Tights make everything better.

Minneapolis, YWCA locker room
Overheard by I can think of a lot of better things than tights.

60ish man to his adult daughter while listening to music: Ooh! Is this Ella Fitzgerald?
Daughter: Uh no, it’s Rod Stewart.

Minneapolis, a Christmas party
Overheard by I didn’t know Ella wrote “Maggie Mae”!

Young boy to his mom: Mom, you smell like cheese!

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Target
Overheard by MMM….gouda!

Woman, talking to two balding brothers: It’s so weird how you both… um…
Brother: Have different balding patterns?

Blooming Prairie, Christmas Party
Overheard by a.lil.

A customer: They got food here. I mean, nothing that’s edible. But, they got food here.

Saint Paul, Grand Avenue CVS
Overheard by truer words were never spoken.

High school boy: Dude, this totally sucks. I wanted to play Xbox all break, but instead I’m going to be in Paris!

Blaine, Centennial High School
Overheard by Dude, that totally sucks for you.

Woman on cell phone: I’ve been pretty much the same.  I still wear the same three bikinis. (pause)  Well, sometimes I do wear a polka dot one.  (pause)  Polka dots!

Minneapolis, Downtown on the street at 9th and Marquette
Overheard by Context, please?

Chick: Dude, you’re obsessed with Sally*.
Dude: Only because I want to kick her in the nuts.

Minneapolis, Liquor Lyle’s
Overheard by My drunken blackberry.

20-something: I don’t care if he’s your boyfriend, he’s still your brother.

Minneapolis, Blake School Alumni Party
Overheard by My Blackberry and the Booze are all I need.

Forty year old man (flipping through channels): We have Comedy Central?! When did we get Comedy Central?!
Co-Worker: That’s the Weather Channel, you idiot.

Hutchinson, Office Building
Overheard by Bryce Berwaller.

Ditzy College Girl: She’s nice, but what she lacks in hands, she makes up for in Jesus.

Saint Paul, Coffee News
Overheard by I dated one of those.