Overheard In…

Dude #1: Sometimes the change of seasons makes it hard to sleep.
Dude #2: My cat does that to me. Little fucker.
Dude #1: Liquor.
Dude #2: Dude, he’s a male.

Roseville, Rosedale - Computer store
Overheard by Okay with licking but not the gender?

Orange Girl: I need to go tanning today. I’m getting so pale!
Pale Girl: I’ll laugh when you get melanoma.
Orange Girl: Sad! Why would you laugh at an STD?

Richfield, 66th and Lyndale
Overheard by the UV has affected your brain.

Teenage Girl in Visitation uniform #1: I think it’s so great how we’re doing a whole week on cultural diversity.
Teenage  Girl #2: Yep.
Teenage  Girl #1: Oh my god, look at that guy’s hat! He looks so stupid!
Teenage  Girl #2: That’s a turban.
Teenage  Girl #1: Oh. I’m soooooo racist.

Bloomington, MOA Food Court
Overheard by how’s that private school education working out for you?

Girl to friend: I can’t believe you thought I would date him! I mean, I really like his truck, but that’s all. (pauses) I might even date him just for his truck. Like, if I could drive his truck, I would be the happiest girl EVER.

Saint Paul, Perkins, where else?
Overheard by And you thought hicks were limited to outside of the city…

Annoying chick: When she unfriended me on Facebook, that meant war. So, we ALL have to unfriend her on Facebook, right guys?
Small girl on Macbook (checking her Facebook): I’m not friends with her on Facebook anymore, I guess. But you did call her a “sinning slut” when she was smoking weed.
Annoying chick: She must have unfriended you, too! What a bitch!!
Tall guy: Hey you guys, she can hear us, she’s right over there.

Minneapolis, Walter Library
Overheard by sucks for you.

Mother speaking very loud and slow: Listen to your body! Do you have to go poop?
3 year old boy: NO! I JUST HAVE TOOTS!

Minneapolis, Southdale Mall
Overheard by thatwascute.

20-something co-worker: So, I went to this Mexican restaurant with a friend on Friday, and, like, the entire time the waiter was just trying to sell us drugs.

St. Paul, State Capitol
Overheard by a.lil.

Drunk dude at bar: She didn’t like him because he is a gender racist.

Minneapolis, CC Club
Overheard by Uh, do you mean “sexist”?

Middle-management office dude to other middle-management office dude: Oh, man, you went to Arby’s? Damn!

Eden Prairie, Fortune 500 Office
Overheard by We All Would Have Loved Some Curly Fries.

Girl on cell phone, leaving voicemail for somebody:  I figured out what I’m going to do after I graduate.  I’m going to live in Italy for a year.  I’ll move over there, get a job and just chill.  And I’ll probably fall in love with and marry some gorgeous Italian guy.  We’ll have beautiful babies, and I’ll never come back to the US.  So yeah, that’s what I’m going to do.  So, call me back if you want.

Minneapolis, Southbound LRT
Overheard by velocipete.

Customer: You put the right amount of whipped cream on it. The dude you have working here never puts enough on.
Barista: Oh, you mean the retarded guy?

St Paul, Caribou in Byerly’s on Suburban
Overheard by smoooth d.

Crazy emo girl in an overcrowded booth, surrounded by her friends: It’s like watching the cookie monster make love to your cat!

Burnsville, Perkins
Overheard by WHAT, exactly, is like that?!

Teacher to student: Stop playing with other kids’ balls!

Hopkins, School
Overheard by I still think it is funny.

Student #1: So, like, I had a really cute outfit picked out for today and I woke up this morning and was just really sad and depressed.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Well, I just didn’t want to wear that outfit anymore.

St.Paul, St.Thomas, Dowling
Overheard by …then don’t wear it

Teenage girl on cell phone: MOM! I don’t want to drive all the way to Edina to pick up your credit card! And I have to go tanning first!

Plymouth, Wayzata High School

Homeless man to Mother with kids by her side: I’m thinking of going dumpster diving later. (towards kids) Hey, has your mom ever taken you dumpster diving?

Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by When I grow up…

Little Girl: (singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in a silly voice)
Mother: What movie’s ‘at from?
Little Girl: Hell if I know.

6D southbound, Hennepin Ave.
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Little girl who just ran out of the bathroom crying with her pants down, to her mom who is carrying her back into the bathroom: I knew you shoulda come with me!!

Saint Paul, Pizza Luce
Overheard by Is she potty-trained?

Woman watching St. Patrick’s Day parade: Why is there a parade?  I thought St. Patrick’s Day was for drinking!

Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by helopookie.

4-year-old girl: I’m naked now!
Mother: Yes, you are naked now.
4-year-old girl: Yay!

Minneapolis, The YWCA locker room
Overheard by That was oddly adorable.

College student #1: I just can’t believe that guy! He is so… so, political!
College student #2: Yeah!
College student #1: Do you know what political means?
College student #2: No.

Minneapolis, University of St. Thomas
Overheard by oh my…

MN State Department of Economic Security employee #1: There sure were a lot more people at the parade today than usual.
MN State Department of Economic Security employee #2: It must have been because the weather is nice today.
Employee of a business in the building (as elevator door closes): It is because they are unemployed.

St. Paul, 1st National Bank Building Elevator
Overheard by Someone employed.

Daughter: Dad, can we have Mello Yellow to drink?
Father: No, too much caffeine. Well, I suppose we’re dropping you off at your aunt Kathy’s. Go ahead.

Eden Prairie, Subway, Anderson Lakes Pkwy
Overheard by D.R.B.

One drunk guy to his drunk friend: Sushi and miracle grow is the basis for my bone structure.

Minneapolis, on a front stoop
Overheard by a neighbor.

Guy: What are you doing Thursday?
Female: I have C-section planned.
Guy: Can’t you just push it out?
Female: No, because I might die or he might die.
Guy: Now why did you have to ruin my day like that?
Female: Cause you asked.

Minneapolis, downtown public library
Overheard by an awkward elevator ride.