Overheard In... » New York

Though I Think Of It As More Of a Divine Calling

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Working man: Yo, what's that?
Hobo, shaking cup of coins: Huh?
Working man: What is that?
Hobo: It's a cup, you got any money?
Working man: Yeah, I got money in my pocket.
Hobo: Well, gimme some!
Working man: I ain't got money to be givin' away. I just did my eight hours.
Hobo: Well, I'm gettin' my eight hours too, shit!

--F Train

Overheard by: ninja

Posted 2009-04-05

Spiced With Uninformed Opinion from Around the World!

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Little boy near cafe: What's that smell?
Passerby: It's the smell of knowledge!

--Barnes & Noble

Posted 2009-04-05

Circus Is About the Fact That I’m Hung Like an Elephant

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Hobo #1: Britney Spears is a pussy.
Hobo #2: I was tapping her before she got pregnant.

--1 Train

Posted 2009-04-05

Every Day I Test Myself, and Every Day I Fail.

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 07:00:00 +0000

Subway operator: This downtown 1 train will not be stopping at 50th Street. I repeat, will not be stopping at 50th Street.
(a minute passes)
Subway operator: We will not be stopping at 50th Street. There is a stalled train there. We will be going straight to 42nd without stopping at 50th.
(another minute goes by)
Subway operator: This is a downtown 1 train, next stop will be 50th. Shit! 42nd.

--1 Train

Posted 2009-04-05

We Can Afford Coke.

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Woman: Looks like you guys got your drink on tonight.
Drunk frat boy: I don't drink--I'm the VP of programming!

--PATH

Overheard by: DBrickashaw

Posted 2009-04-05

Though It Still Doesn’t Explain Why You Keep Forcing Me to Watch WALL-E

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:00:00 +0000

Dad: My Bloody Valentine in 3-d...violence and naked women.
Nine-year-old son: Yeah, that's the only reason you want to see that movie.

--Kafuman Studio Movie Theater, Astoria

Posted 2009-04-04

Strangely, She Then Mentioned a “Russian Judge” and a “German Judge”

admin — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Male Fordham student: I think I witnessed a girl getting bad news about either being pregnant or getting STDs!
Female Fordham student: How do you know?!
Male Fordham student: Because she was on the phone and I heard her say "wait, that's not possible, how could the results come back as that?"

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Posted 2009-04-04

We Imagine This with a Rap Beat to It

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!

--3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th

Posted 2009-04-04

Explain How

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 21:00:00 +0000

Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.

--Times Square

Posted 2009-04-04

When We Limit Our Cancer Sources, the Terrorists Win

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 19:00:00 +0000

Monster Energy drink rep: Free energy drinks! (hands drink out)
20-something woman: I'll get my cancer elsewhere, thanks.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Queso

Posted 2009-04-04

And That Was Really More Of Something to Gnaw on While Playing Poker

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Guy #1: I went out drinking last night and didn't smoke.
Guy #2: Except cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, besides that.

--PATH Sation

Posted 2009-04-04

No Matter What My Gymnastics Coach Says

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Conductor: If you see something, say something.
Crazy fat lady reading book: Mind your own business, don't say anything. (a few minutes later) I don't wanna be no Asian, I don't wanna be the size of no Asian.

--Downtown A train

Posted 2009-04-04

And It Was Cooked to Perfection

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Young female at happy hour #1: So getting a free dinner was cool.
Young female at happy hour #2: Yeah, it's not like that roach was on the plate.

--7th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: Ed

Posted 2009-04-04

Why Mr. Peanut’s Family Stopped Having Reunions

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Nutsy guy #1: I'm nuttier than you are!
Nutsy guy #2: No!

--Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted 2009-04-04

Or Thinking Something– Which Is Rarely.

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:00:00 +0000

Asian in suit: Do you think I'm like, really serious?
Asian chick: Yeah, you're serious about pretty much everything.
Asian suit: But only when, I'm like, doing something.

--112th & Broadway

Overheard by: okay...

Posted 2009-04-04

Do We Go to Your Country and Act All American?…Oh, Wait.

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:00:00 +0000

British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck...off.

--Union Square

Overheard by: Dropping Eaves

Posted 2009-04-04

And I Think He’d Look Hot in a Top Hat and Bowtie

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Boyfriend: Ah, don't listen to her, she still believes in magic.
Girlfriend: Jesus! I believe in Jesus!

--117th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Schenk

Posted 2009-04-04

Who Says Stuff Like That Except Virgins?

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 03:00:00 +0000

TV guy #1: We're not putting whores on tv.
TV guy #2: Are you a virgin?
TV guy #1: No, this cherry has been popped.

--Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Derek

Posted 2009-04-03

But Only If They Wore Leather Chaps

admin — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:00:00 +0000

Dude #1: I had a dream that we got to hang out backstage with Metallica after the concert on Saturday.
Dude #2: That would be fucking awesome.
Dude #1: We would totally get laid.
Dude #2: By Metallica?
Dude #1: I'd do it.

--N Train

Overheard by: Mr. Bobo

Posted 2009-04-03

To Ward Off Sketchy Men in Bars

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:00:00 +0000

Gross older man: Yeah, she was hot but her pussy always smells.
Gross older woman: Mine never smells...unless I pee on myself.

--Staten Island Ferry

Posted 2009-04-03

But It’s a Required Screening Question for Prospective Adoptive Parents

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:00:00 +0000

Teenage Asian girl: I have a question: would you want me to hang out with a vampire?
Old Hispanic woman: No!
Teenage Asian girl: Okay. I knew that.

--2 Train

Overheard by: Ryan

Posted 2009-04-03

Long Story Short, We Have a Fourth for Poker Tonight.

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:00:00 +0000

Girl #1: I saw the most crack-whorish looking girl today in Starbucks.
Girl #2: Now, was she crack-whorish or heroine chic? Because there is a difference.
Girl #1: No. She was definitely a crack whore. I mean. Imagine Courtney Love...now imagine Courtney Love run over by a train.

--W 4th

Overheard by: xanaxfashoin

Posted 2009-04-03

That’s Our Nation’s President, Dad.

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Drunk white man, pointing to random black guy: Hey, look: it's Puff Daddy!
Embarrassed daughter: Dad, that is not P. Diddy.
Drunk white man: Hey, Puff! Can I get a record deal? Hook a brother up!

--52nd & 7th

Posted 2009-04-03

Ben Stein’s “Clear Eyes” Commercials Get Creepier Every Year

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Deli man: You have beautiful eyes.
Woman: Thank you.
Deli man: You better take care of them.

--63rd & 1st

Posted 2009-04-03

Now I See Your Twat Colors, Shining Through.

admin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Latina chick to two friends: Fucking bitch whore keeps calling me!
Friend #1: Don't answa! Don't answa!
Friend #2: She's a bitch.
Latina chick: Don't call my motha a bitch, you twat.

--14th St & Ave A

Posted 2009-04-03