April 3rd, 2009
Mother waiting in line to pay with her sons and husband: Boys, did you see that little girl over there? Wasn’t she cute?
Little boy #1: Yeah!
Little boy #2: She was a girl!!
Husband: Yes, she was a girl.
Little boy #2: And I’m a BOY!
Little boy #1: Me too!!
Husband: Oh really? And HOW do you know that you’re boys?
Little boys #1 and #2: WE HAVE GONADS!
Husband: YAY!!
Woodbury, Sam’s Club
Overheard by made MY day.
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April 3rd, 2009
Happy yet ignorant-looking woman: Oh! Free rides on St. Patrick’s Day!
Minneapolis, on the 18
Overheard by It’s April, fool!
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April 3rd, 2009
Teenage Asian girl: I have a question: would you want me to hang out with a vampire?
Old Hispanic woman: No!
Teenage Asian girl: Okay. I knew that.
--2 Train
Overheard by: Ryan
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April 3rd, 2009
Girl #1: I saw the most crack-whorish looking girl today in Starbucks.
Girl #2: Now, was she crack-whorish or heroine chic? Because there is a difference.
Girl #1: No. She was definitely a crack whore. I mean. Imagine Courtney Love...now imagine Courtney Love run over by a train.
--W 4th
Overheard by: xanaxfashoin
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April 3rd, 2009
Drunk white man, pointing to random black guy: Hey, look: it's Puff Daddy!
Embarrassed daughter: Dad, that is not P. Diddy.
Drunk white man: Hey, Puff! Can I get a record deal? Hook a brother up!
--52nd & 7th
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April 3rd, 2009
Deli man: You have beautiful eyes.
Woman: Thank you.
Deli man: You better take care of them.
--63rd & 1st
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April 3rd, 2009
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April 3rd, 2009
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April 3rd, 2009
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April 3rd, 2009
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: Hey man, how’s it going?
Kid #2: What did you say, I didn’t understand?
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: How could you not understand that? I mean, do you have dyslexia of the ear?
Roseville, at home
Overheard by CHUBBY2THEMAX
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April 3rd, 2009
Tiny drunk girl to other drunk girl: I’m drunk right now, but not like bad drunk… more like good drunk.
St. Paul, MN Wild Game
Overheard by I beg to differ on the good drunk…
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April 3rd, 2009
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April 3rd, 2009
Latina chick to two friends: Fucking bitch whore keeps calling me!
Friend #1: Don't answa! Don't answa!
Friend #2: She's a bitch.
Latina chick: Don't call my motha a bitch, you twat.
--14th St & Ave A
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April 3rd, 2009
Woman in line at bank: I got a twin.
Friend: I think everybody do.
--HSBC, Boreum Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tony Cimino, DMA
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April 3rd, 2009
Jappy girl #1: Ewww, I can't believe I had sex with him Saturday night.
Jappy girl #2: Was it good?
Jappy girl #1: I don't know, it was only for like 20 seconds.
--3rd Ave & 34th St
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April 2nd, 2009
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April 2nd, 2009
Drunk white woman: Congratulations on making history!
Sober black man: Um...what?
Drunk white woman: Yeah! I voted for Obama too!
--Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julzz
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April 2nd, 2009
20-something girl to friend: You can't be serious!
Friend: Tasteless clear liquid, I'm telling you what.
20-something girl: Hey, are you in jail? Are you on fire? Then shut the hell up!
--Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Victoria Lynne Blakeman
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April 2nd, 2009
Hood teen #1: So they told me if I fight her I'll get arrested.
Hood teen #2: Why? She pregnant?
--L Train
Overheard by: Jamma Mamma
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April 2nd, 2009
Nerdy Girl: I didn’t want to fight last night because I forgot my jill. And what would I say if I had to explain it to my mom? I got hurt just a little bit lower down.
Nerdy girl’s friend: What, like a concussion on your vagina?
St. Paul, St. Kates
Overheard by its called your princess.
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April 2nd, 2009
Young bodega rat on corner: Dude, she just told me to go fuck myself!
Bodega rat's friend: That's cause she gangsta--you not!
--Hamilton Heights, 137th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lo Fisch
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April 2nd, 2009
Girl talking to herself: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Girl #2: Who were you talking to?
Girl talking to herself: YOU.
Girl#2: I wasn’t saying anything.
Girl talking to herself: Really?
Maplewood, MPA
Overheard by Dazzling Drawer.
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April 2nd, 2009
Waitress trying to impress restaurant critic at a new-age, go-green cafe: Here’s our rhubarb pie, it’s gluten free. (critic takes a bite) It’s gluten free. (pause) It doesn’t have wheat.
Duluth, Chester Creek Cafe
Overheard by Wait, does that have gluten in it?
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April 2nd, 2009
Fat woman, stopping sales lady: Hold up. Where are all the clothes for fat teenagers?
Sales lady: Uhh...uhh...7th floor.
--Macy's, Herald Square
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April 2nd, 2009
Ghetto girl #1: Raymond is gay.
Ghetto girl #2: No wonder he kisses like a bitch!
Ghetto girl #1: Maybe he don't like those rough-ass African lips...
--5 Train
Overheard by: wink
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